An Ode to the Stanford Man

Ok. So I admittedly have graduated from Stanford University. So some may ask, why in the world would I care about Stanford men. Well, my decision to stay in the area because of job opportunities and pure laziness about moving back across the country has left me half way in and half way outside of the infamous Stanford bubble. So long story short, I still run into them, some have graduated some have not.

I don't want to pigeon hole ALL Stanford guys so I'll acknowledge the different types. I can't get everyone, just the one's I've had experience with. Today I'll describe the most recent type I've bumped in to -

Stanford Guy A: The Socially Awkward Poser

The Socially Awkward Poser SEEMs like he knows what's going on. Around his friends he's lively and social. He doesn't do anything that makes him seem overtly strange. Until YOU try to talk to him. Then all hell breaks loose. All of a sudden he doesn't know the rules of social etiquette. From saying inappropriate things to down right ignoring you, the SAP doesn't quite know how to apparopriately interact with every type of girl.

I would like to think that I'm so hot I make men lose all types of sense. But there are hotter women so this isn't particularly the case. So in general, the SAP seems like he is normal in his comfort zone, but beware, he'll treat you like crap, or even better, ignore you. Until one day when he gets really drunk and confesses the huge crush he has on you.

It happened to me! There was a guy Peter*. Peter never acknowledged my presence when we were in the same room. Even when I would try to interact with him directly, saying things like "Oh that's hilarious. Where did you get that from?" Peter looked at me and turned away, ignoring me. I didn't understand but I just kept out of his way whenever we crossed paths. Until one day Peter got trashed and told me how hot he thought I was and how he wanted my number. As I tell this story I realize that Peter wasn't the only Stanford boy who had done this to me. There were at least 2 others.

Sigh. Don't let the SAP ruin your life! I don't exactly suggest confronting the SAP b/c maybe he isn't a SAP at all. Maybe your very existence annoys him for some reason and that is why he is mean or ignores you. Maybe the better solution is to get him ridiculously trashed one Friday night and see what happens.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.