Secret Wishes

A strange phenomenon dawned on me today - When you break up with someone you secretly (or not even secretly) want them to feel some PAIN. It doesnt even matter if you didnt like the person much at all. Think about it. If for a while you were dating some Johnny Lame Ass and kept telling yourself you were going to dump him, then finally did it. If you talked to him the following week and he was like "Oh yeah, it was great that you dumped me. I met this lovely girl right after and we're engaged!," face it you'd be upset, not for losing him but for the simple fact that he was HAPPY and not groveling and sad... Why this is "strange" to me is that it transcends the meaning of the relationship. Surely if you were with someone for a significant amount of time you DEFINITELY want them to be sad if you break up with them. But if you dated someone for say a few months or a few weeks, why should you care about their post-break up happiness?

I guess in the end it comes down to value judgement. If I value myself very highly, I expect others to do the same. And if I decide that I no longer want someone else to be able to partake in my awesomeness I must assume that in ending things, I am taking away something I feel they should value highly. If they turn around and jump for joy then it's the same as saying "Eh, you're not all that valuable to me." When someone challenges preconceived notions of oneself it will always sting a litte.

Ok.. back to being bored to tears at work :-/