The Root of It

I was talking to another friend of mine that I hadn't spoken to in a while (notice a patter here? sigh)

Anyway I was cathing up with life and I told her how the bf was going off to training and how I felt bad that I was being mean to him almost everyday until the actual day before and to my surprise she gasped and exclaimed, "I know how you feel!"

My friend is engaged and her and her fiance lived apart for two years while he was still in school. She told me about the ridiculous fights that they would have and how prior to them being long distance, she could count the amount of fights they had over 3 years on one hand. After he moved, they were bickering almost every couple of days.

One great thing I got out of the conversation is that my friend helped me see why I was so annoyed at the bf and being nit picky.

For one, you're already annoyed that you don't get to be with the person. But then you tell yourself you can understand b/c they are supposed to be doing something important. But as soon as they deter from any course of action they originally said they were going to take, tempers flair.

I don't know if this is a girl thing or not. I'm not exactly sure that guys always feel this way. But I guess its a lesson in why its bad to play the blame game on others when YOU are feeling bad. I mean of course people can purposely or inadvertantly cause you harm, but there are always layers to an issue. You may think you've gotten to the last layer until you suddenly realize that there is another issue at hand.

I guess you know when you've gotten to the root of the problem when you try to fix it based on its cause and it actually works. Blaming the bf for slacking didn't make me feel better. But understanding that I was more annoyed with the fact that he wasn't with me AND decided to do something else helped me let go of the reigns a bit.

Now I can dig my heels into this quarters work and hopefully make it through!

I can tell its going to be another few months before I can catch up with people again.

In the meantime, on with life...