There's Gotta be More to Life
I think recently life has been trying to send me a big hint, an FYI. I'm pretty sure of it as things just seem to be going crappily. What's the message? Don't sweat the small stuff and take the time to fight for yourself. These messages may be somewhat antithetical, but I guess it makes sense. My mom has constantly been telling me these two things, but I think in life you have to rack up enough experiences and be willing to see the message in order to really learn any lesson that will stick.
My crazy roommate situation (see October, I believe) taught me the latter lesson. If nothing else, she was always fighting for herself and her issues and guess what? I walked away -$800 partly due to her selfishness and she lost no money or time. I don't want to become a more selfish person. Lord knows I've been trying to become less selfish. But there are times when I keep mute because I'd rather not go through the trouble of standing up for myself. I think it also has to do with a control issue. I end up pulling way more weight than another person, not always because they dont want to do something, but because I don't tell them I need them to do something. I realize I do this b/c I don't want to deal with having to depend on another person for whom I have no control over. Case in point - my current roommate's dog keeps attacking my dog. I effin hate my roommate's dog. Not only does she attack him, but then she pees on the carpet as some kind of way of marking territory I guess. It's effin annoying and also teaches me the lesson of never having or living with a female dog again. So I initially saw two solutions - move out, or keep my dog locked in my room. Both of these solutions do not factor in any efforts my roommate can take to make the situation better and reflect the fact that I'm always thinking of what I need to do as opposed to a broader view of what everyone needs to do. I reallly don't have the time nor energy to move and the idea of keeping Max locked in my room everyday just didn't seem appealing. So instead, I finally decided to actually "compromise" with my roommate. We would altnernate the days on which each dog could freely roam the common space while we're gone and she has to be extremely careful of the whereabouts of her dog when Max is around. Problem fixed. Stand up for yourself and what you need Bang and make others accountable for what needs to happen. If I would have done the same thing in my roommate situation, I would have asked her from the get-go to help me select a roommate by putting up ads and interviewing people. If she refused then at that point I would tell her that I will find whoever is willing to move in then and it would have saved me the headache of finding a good "fit." And saved at least $300 lost in rent due to someone moving in the middle of the month.
Don't sweat the small stuff...
After coming back from London where I stayed with my uncle and aunt for a bit, both of whom are dentists, I chipped my tooth. I wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary. I was biting a nail and a small piece chipped. My mom looked at it and said that it was hardly noticible. But for whatever reason I freaked out and immediatly went to a dentist. I called the dentist, told them the kind of insurance I had - its not so much insurance as much as a discount plan for dentistry work - and went in to see someone the same day. The dentist was so eager to clean my teeth and perform x-rays but I was hesitant b/c I knew I had a discount plan, not actual insurance. The receptionist assured me that she had called the number on the card and they told her they covered preventative services and would cover 80% of getting my tooth fixed. So the dentist whisked me away and started performing procedures. At the end of it all I paid 20 bucks. Not bad.
Though when I got home I started to think the work the dentist did was shoddy. I could feel the bonding she put on my tooth and every once in a while, some of the bonding would chip off. When I returned to California, about 2 weeks later, I received a phone call from the same receptionist. She asked me if I gave her the correct number for the Dental plan and said that my insurance company sent them back the claim form and said that the claim was filed incorrectly. She asked me if I had another form of insurance and then said, "I just want to know who to send this in to. I don't want to have to send you the bill." I thought ha! after such shoddy work I'm not paying a dime over what I've already been charged, and I voiced my concern about which dental plan she was talking about. Anyway, I haven't really had time to deal with that issue. And then something funny happened. I was biting on a tortilla chip, granted a particularly hard one, and the bonding that the dentist performed, came off!
So now I'm faced with the possibility of paying a big dental bill for shitty work! I wonder if I would have just waited to have things done in California, or if I would have said, "you know what, it is hardly noticible, not worth worrying about," that things would have turned out better.
Not to mention when I got back I vowed to get my finances in order. And the funny thing is I've been double-billed, lied to by agents, and just generally frustrated with trying to make sure everything is paid off.
And the mother of it all, today I walked out to walk my dog and saw my car. Someone dented it.
The weird thing is that I didn't have a massive anxiety attack. I just looked at it, took some pictures in case, shrugged my shoulders and went on with my day.
I've decided that if I don't want to suffer from a major coronary heart attack, I'm going to have to stop worrying about the inconsequential stuff. My life has been extremely tough at times, but I'm still at a place a lot of people would for. I went to a good school, gained a lot from it intellectually and personally, and I'm in the process of achieving my life long dreams. So really, everything else is small stuff. I don't even have much time to sweat the small stuff since there are things in my life that are the size of boulders that need to be attend to first.
Hopefully things will stop going crappily soon.. but I'm not holding my breath :)
My crazy roommate situation (see October, I believe) taught me the latter lesson. If nothing else, she was always fighting for herself and her issues and guess what? I walked away -$800 partly due to her selfishness and she lost no money or time. I don't want to become a more selfish person. Lord knows I've been trying to become less selfish. But there are times when I keep mute because I'd rather not go through the trouble of standing up for myself. I think it also has to do with a control issue. I end up pulling way more weight than another person, not always because they dont want to do something, but because I don't tell them I need them to do something. I realize I do this b/c I don't want to deal with having to depend on another person for whom I have no control over. Case in point - my current roommate's dog keeps attacking my dog. I effin hate my roommate's dog. Not only does she attack him, but then she pees on the carpet as some kind of way of marking territory I guess. It's effin annoying and also teaches me the lesson of never having or living with a female dog again. So I initially saw two solutions - move out, or keep my dog locked in my room. Both of these solutions do not factor in any efforts my roommate can take to make the situation better and reflect the fact that I'm always thinking of what I need to do as opposed to a broader view of what everyone needs to do. I reallly don't have the time nor energy to move and the idea of keeping Max locked in my room everyday just didn't seem appealing. So instead, I finally decided to actually "compromise" with my roommate. We would altnernate the days on which each dog could freely roam the common space while we're gone and she has to be extremely careful of the whereabouts of her dog when Max is around. Problem fixed. Stand up for yourself and what you need Bang and make others accountable for what needs to happen. If I would have done the same thing in my roommate situation, I would have asked her from the get-go to help me select a roommate by putting up ads and interviewing people. If she refused then at that point I would tell her that I will find whoever is willing to move in then and it would have saved me the headache of finding a good "fit." And saved at least $300 lost in rent due to someone moving in the middle of the month.
Don't sweat the small stuff...
After coming back from London where I stayed with my uncle and aunt for a bit, both of whom are dentists, I chipped my tooth. I wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary. I was biting a nail and a small piece chipped. My mom looked at it and said that it was hardly noticible. But for whatever reason I freaked out and immediatly went to a dentist. I called the dentist, told them the kind of insurance I had - its not so much insurance as much as a discount plan for dentistry work - and went in to see someone the same day. The dentist was so eager to clean my teeth and perform x-rays but I was hesitant b/c I knew I had a discount plan, not actual insurance. The receptionist assured me that she had called the number on the card and they told her they covered preventative services and would cover 80% of getting my tooth fixed. So the dentist whisked me away and started performing procedures. At the end of it all I paid 20 bucks. Not bad.
Though when I got home I started to think the work the dentist did was shoddy. I could feel the bonding she put on my tooth and every once in a while, some of the bonding would chip off. When I returned to California, about 2 weeks later, I received a phone call from the same receptionist. She asked me if I gave her the correct number for the Dental plan and said that my insurance company sent them back the claim form and said that the claim was filed incorrectly. She asked me if I had another form of insurance and then said, "I just want to know who to send this in to. I don't want to have to send you the bill." I thought ha! after such shoddy work I'm not paying a dime over what I've already been charged, and I voiced my concern about which dental plan she was talking about. Anyway, I haven't really had time to deal with that issue. And then something funny happened. I was biting on a tortilla chip, granted a particularly hard one, and the bonding that the dentist performed, came off!
So now I'm faced with the possibility of paying a big dental bill for shitty work! I wonder if I would have just waited to have things done in California, or if I would have said, "you know what, it is hardly noticible, not worth worrying about," that things would have turned out better.
Not to mention when I got back I vowed to get my finances in order. And the funny thing is I've been double-billed, lied to by agents, and just generally frustrated with trying to make sure everything is paid off.
And the mother of it all, today I walked out to walk my dog and saw my car. Someone dented it.
The weird thing is that I didn't have a massive anxiety attack. I just looked at it, took some pictures in case, shrugged my shoulders and went on with my day.
I've decided that if I don't want to suffer from a major coronary heart attack, I'm going to have to stop worrying about the inconsequential stuff. My life has been extremely tough at times, but I'm still at a place a lot of people would for. I went to a good school, gained a lot from it intellectually and personally, and I'm in the process of achieving my life long dreams. So really, everything else is small stuff. I don't even have much time to sweat the small stuff since there are things in my life that are the size of boulders that need to be attend to first.
Hopefully things will stop going crappily soon.. but I'm not holding my breath :)
Labels: Compromise, controll, crappily, selfishness, small stuff
posted by GyangBang | 11:13 AM
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