The good thing about being single is,,,
you get to refine your dating strategy by observing how other people mess up!
Case in point: There is this guy that used to come over a lot in the beginning of the year. He's a first year med student and him and my roommate (also a first year med student) would hang out a lot. I couldn't tell if they were dating or not.. he's a bit robotic. But the other day my other roommate told me that they're bf/gf not quite, maybe. Problem here? The roommate makes it way too easy for him. He comes, hangs out, they do god knows what, they cook together, chat etc. Easy. He can stay in limbo for however long he wants because either way, he'll get the same benefits. Seems like a bad strategy to me if you want someone as your bf.
Besides that, I have begun to reconcile a lot of conflicting information in my head. For the most part, I think many of the tactics I described were a bit on the manipulative bitch side. But men love sweet women, so how can you win the best guys when you're a manipulative bitch? Well actually that answer is simple, but point being - if being mean isn't your thing, how do you stay ahead in the courtship game when you know many men love challenges?
It dawned on me. You don't have to be mean AND manipulative. You can be sweet as a Georgia peach (are they really that sweet? I've never had one) and manipulative. I don't really like using manipulative in this case because it sounds as if you have an ulterior motive going where you get all the benefits and the guy gets none. Really, what the aim of seduction really is is to create fun and excitement for both parties.
The tactic? Be as nice and as charming as you can be when in his presence, but don't give in easily. It's that simple! LOL! I can't believe it took me what, 24 years to realize this!
I'm usually sarcastic, aloof, pretty much I usually give off the vibe that I can't be bothered. And if I am in the mood to flirt, I'll sting you a time or two - blame it on my sun sign.
While this weeds out the weak it also makes me feel bad that I make other people feel bad.. even if its unintentional. If that makes sense...
But I'm on this "value added" kick. What value do I add to a situation? To a person? Maybe I'll expand on this concept at another time... but for now I'll test my hypothesis and report the results as they come in. (Don't hold your breath. Med school isn't the most social venture on earth..)
Case in point: There is this guy that used to come over a lot in the beginning of the year. He's a first year med student and him and my roommate (also a first year med student) would hang out a lot. I couldn't tell if they were dating or not.. he's a bit robotic. But the other day my other roommate told me that they're bf/gf not quite, maybe. Problem here? The roommate makes it way too easy for him. He comes, hangs out, they do god knows what, they cook together, chat etc. Easy. He can stay in limbo for however long he wants because either way, he'll get the same benefits. Seems like a bad strategy to me if you want someone as your bf.
Besides that, I have begun to reconcile a lot of conflicting information in my head. For the most part, I think many of the tactics I described were a bit on the manipulative bitch side. But men love sweet women, so how can you win the best guys when you're a manipulative bitch? Well actually that answer is simple, but point being - if being mean isn't your thing, how do you stay ahead in the courtship game when you know many men love challenges?
It dawned on me. You don't have to be mean AND manipulative. You can be sweet as a Georgia peach (are they really that sweet? I've never had one) and manipulative. I don't really like using manipulative in this case because it sounds as if you have an ulterior motive going where you get all the benefits and the guy gets none. Really, what the aim of seduction really is is to create fun and excitement for both parties.
The tactic? Be as nice and as charming as you can be when in his presence, but don't give in easily. It's that simple! LOL! I can't believe it took me what, 24 years to realize this!
I'm usually sarcastic, aloof, pretty much I usually give off the vibe that I can't be bothered. And if I am in the mood to flirt, I'll sting you a time or two - blame it on my sun sign.
While this weeds out the weak it also makes me feel bad that I make other people feel bad.. even if its unintentional. If that makes sense...
But I'm on this "value added" kick. What value do I add to a situation? To a person? Maybe I'll expand on this concept at another time... but for now I'll test my hypothesis and report the results as they come in. (Don't hold your breath. Med school isn't the most social venture on earth..)
Labels: dating, lessons, value added
posted by GyangBang | 12:45 AM
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