Overwhelming Urges Part Deux
If VH1 can try to win back fans by redoing a whole concept, I will too damnit!
Anywho.. the first time I had an overwhelming urge, it was to tell the guy that I was dating that I didn't think it would work out and that we should both move on. So overwhelming was the urge that I wanted to do it as soon as I woke up just to get it over with and return back to sleep. The end result was that I never did act on the urge and I'm still dating the guy.. happily.
For the past week though I've had the overhwelming urge to utter the words "I love you." BUT just as I didn't act on the other urge, I probably won't act on this one. Once you say the word love, I feel as though you can't back track. This person now knows that you're practically putty in their hands. Also, I read once, that a girl should never be the first one to say I love you. The reasoning was something like the guy might give a response that appeases a girl but doesn't really mean it and may make him start thinking that he needs to find an exit before things get any more serious. And if you wait for him to say it, you'll know that he's thought about it long enough that he means it.. since he doesnt want to say it and it not be mutual. yada yada.. So thats one reason that I'll keep my mouth shut.
The other reason I won't say it is because I think it's ridiculous that I'm even thinking of saying it. Like do I really feel that way? I don't really love him. I love my family. I love my friends. I've known family and friends for years and this guy, 3 months, tops. Granted, I've realized that there is a definite difference in "kinds of love" (i.e. familial vs. romantic), but I still don't know if I'm being genuine.
Maybe I have the urge b/c I want a reaction. Maybe I think it will bring us closer. Or maybe I just think its a good thing to say after 3 months? Hm. And then I realize that if I did in fact love this person, it would be a conditional love. Like say his life started hitting the hard-knocks or there was something emotionally stressful that happened, or he decided he wanted to move to another country.. would I cry? No. Would I try to fix the problem? Probably not. Would I try to convince him to stay or better yet, run away with him. NO. So clearly, its all conditional.
I guess I'll just take the urge as a sign that things are going well. And who knows, I might confess in a fit of drunkeness.. here's to hoping for the best ;-)
Anywho.. the first time I had an overwhelming urge, it was to tell the guy that I was dating that I didn't think it would work out and that we should both move on. So overwhelming was the urge that I wanted to do it as soon as I woke up just to get it over with and return back to sleep. The end result was that I never did act on the urge and I'm still dating the guy.. happily.
For the past week though I've had the overhwelming urge to utter the words "I love you." BUT just as I didn't act on the other urge, I probably won't act on this one. Once you say the word love, I feel as though you can't back track. This person now knows that you're practically putty in their hands. Also, I read once, that a girl should never be the first one to say I love you. The reasoning was something like the guy might give a response that appeases a girl but doesn't really mean it and may make him start thinking that he needs to find an exit before things get any more serious. And if you wait for him to say it, you'll know that he's thought about it long enough that he means it.. since he doesnt want to say it and it not be mutual. yada yada.. So thats one reason that I'll keep my mouth shut.
The other reason I won't say it is because I think it's ridiculous that I'm even thinking of saying it. Like do I really feel that way? I don't really love him. I love my family. I love my friends. I've known family and friends for years and this guy, 3 months, tops. Granted, I've realized that there is a definite difference in "kinds of love" (i.e. familial vs. romantic), but I still don't know if I'm being genuine.
Maybe I have the urge b/c I want a reaction. Maybe I think it will bring us closer. Or maybe I just think its a good thing to say after 3 months? Hm. And then I realize that if I did in fact love this person, it would be a conditional love. Like say his life started hitting the hard-knocks or there was something emotionally stressful that happened, or he decided he wanted to move to another country.. would I cry? No. Would I try to fix the problem? Probably not. Would I try to convince him to stay or better yet, run away with him. NO. So clearly, its all conditional.
I guess I'll just take the urge as a sign that things are going well. And who knows, I might confess in a fit of drunkeness.. here's to hoping for the best ;-)
posted by GyangBang | 10:55 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home