A Crude Male Dating Schema
Yes, I know I'm about to make sweeping generalizations.. But that's what I'm good at so I'll keep keeping on. The schema I am about to present is based on countless interviews with male peers, observations, and research (i.e. I'm pulling this out my ass.. but we'll pretend I'm not).
It's no surprise to anyone that has been dating in their 20's that men act differently at different ages. It's the reason I refuse to date men in their 30s; mostly out of fear that after the 2nd date they'll be making wedding plans. Its also a reason why I sorta refuse to "seriously" date men under the age of 26. Don't want to form sticky bonds to someone that's just going to find some lame excuse to dump my ass after a while. (Anyway) I don't know what it feels like to be a man.. and I'm glad I don't. I'd much rather be ruled by emotions (although I'm not) than a penis. But hey that's just me. But through some observations I think this is what the male psyche looks like in terms of dating at different ages. AGAIN this doesn't apply to EVERYONE. There are always the 10% outliers on either side.
Age: 16-18; Theme: Hopeless Romantics; Description: Boys at this age swear they are looking for "the one." There is some special lady out there just for them. Sure they'll have sex with the skanks, but when this special lady comes along, life will be A.Ok. Conversely, "the
one" could just be any girl that lets him touch her boobs.
Age: 18-21; Theme: Hopeless Romantics Take II/The budding player; Description: I'm firmly convinced that there are two kinds of men - those who want sex within the context of a relationship, and those who want sex without a relationship. Either guy can go either way, but usually sticks to one game plan. College relationships are based on the preference of the guy. For some guys it might even be a cost/benefit analysis (conciously or subconciously). How do I maximize the amount of sex I get? I could get into a relationship and get guaranteed sex on a regular basis... or do I want to leave it up to chance on the weekends and hope that I can bang a new chick every weekend? Hm... They start to think. So a guy makes his mind up one way or the other and goes with it. And I'm also convinced that all those "lonely soul" guys, you know the ones i'm talking about always saying they want to be in a solid relationship, are only pouting b/c they're not getting sex on a regular basis.. period. Either way, come graduation, whatever fantasy he was entertaining is OVER. Unless someone's knocked up and he has to pay the price.
Age: 22-23; Theme: Gray Area; Description: Ahh, so a young man just graduates from college. What next? He's going to the superbowl! Maybe.. But that's neither here or there. Once graduating from college a guy may still be looking for a job or landed a sweet ass job paying him way more than he needs. Either way, these guys may still be reeling from the disappointments that came out of college. Either they didn't get the girlfriend they wanted and feel they might want one now. Or they broke up with the girlfriend they swore was "the one." Or they were a playa playa and got what they wanted.. no need to change pace if this was the outcome. But for the rest of the disappointed, the hurt from whatever bandaid was ripped off when they graduated is still there and might be their motivation for thinking that they really want a serious girlfriend. But then a funny thing happens. All of a sudden a guy starts to breath the air of freedom. Oh wonderous FREEDOM what did I do to deserve thee?? A guy will feel this freedom to different degrees. Is he making money out the ass and living away from the folks? Oh yeah, he's loving it. Was his mother always nagging him all through life and now he realizes that he can go days without having to talk to her? Oh yeah, he's loving it. He can do what he wants, when he wants, and he answers to no one.. except the bill collectors. This realization is what leads men into the next stage....
Age: 24-26; Theme: Screw 'em and dump 'em; Description: Ahh yes. This is the meat of it all. The time where most men are sewing those OATS! The difference comes in terms of how they choose to sew those oats. Like I said some guys like sex without the strings of a relationship. These guys will hit on any pretty thing that moves, get some sweet lovin and BOUNCE. Then there are the guys who like the relationship aspect b/c they're emotionally needy. Oh these guys can be the worst because they'll lull their prey in with promises of something deep and committed. And then after great sex and good times, its time to dump the prey at the side of the road and move on to greener pasteurs. It doesn't matter how long you've been together a month, a few months, 6 months, a year! If the guy feels he still has some fertile land he needs to investigate, he'll eventually be out of there and break up with you with some "it's not you its me" speech. And it really isn't you.. it really is him.. and his need to be with as many women as he possibly can before lockdown mode (i.e. marriage) begins. I'll even say that men at the tail end of this period are THE WORST to deal with. At least when they're really young they'll probably make no bones about wanting to just have fun. The older ones though, they're racing against an imaginary clock. They told themselves they were going to be married at so and so age.. leaving them a year or less to be free and crazy. These men might resort to any tactics to get the poontang. BEWARE.
Age: 26-28; Theme: Back to searching for the one; Description: With X amount of notches on his belt, and with years of experience with women in the "real world" a guy starts to wonder, is this all there is? Yeah the wild nights of partying and hooking up were fun but he needs something more. He wants to have babies! You don't want to have babies with just anyone! And hopefully he was careful enough in those earlier years to ensure that he didn't have any illegitamate kids. But as a guy friend described it to me, its like a "click" in a guy's head. A click that makes him think "me want to marry...now!" If the guy isn't very discerning he might marry anything that looks decent and is nice. Or when it comes to dating he'll at least stop trying to get sex on the first night with every woman he dates.. He'll take things slower, get to know the person.. etc etc.. And, if he's not suffering from any psychobabble problem (i.e. commitmentphobia) he'll get MURRRIED! Especially since a lot of family might start asking when he plans on settling down if he's not married after the age of 28, he might make the big push to get married at least before he's 35.
And that folks is my Crude male Dating Schema pulled out of my ass. Although I must say, having talked to enough guy friends I'm pretty sure it hold some water.. whether its a millimeter or a gallon is a different story :)
It's no surprise to anyone that has been dating in their 20's that men act differently at different ages. It's the reason I refuse to date men in their 30s; mostly out of fear that after the 2nd date they'll be making wedding plans. Its also a reason why I sorta refuse to "seriously" date men under the age of 26. Don't want to form sticky bonds to someone that's just going to find some lame excuse to dump my ass after a while. (Anyway) I don't know what it feels like to be a man.. and I'm glad I don't. I'd much rather be ruled by emotions (although I'm not) than a penis. But hey that's just me. But through some observations I think this is what the male psyche looks like in terms of dating at different ages. AGAIN this doesn't apply to EVERYONE. There are always the 10% outliers on either side.
Age: 16-18; Theme: Hopeless Romantics; Description: Boys at this age swear they are looking for "the one." There is some special lady out there just for them. Sure they'll have sex with the skanks, but when this special lady comes along, life will be A.Ok. Conversely, "the
one" could just be any girl that lets him touch her boobs.
Age: 18-21; Theme: Hopeless Romantics Take II/The budding player; Description: I'm firmly convinced that there are two kinds of men - those who want sex within the context of a relationship, and those who want sex without a relationship. Either guy can go either way, but usually sticks to one game plan. College relationships are based on the preference of the guy. For some guys it might even be a cost/benefit analysis (conciously or subconciously). How do I maximize the amount of sex I get? I could get into a relationship and get guaranteed sex on a regular basis... or do I want to leave it up to chance on the weekends and hope that I can bang a new chick every weekend? Hm... They start to think. So a guy makes his mind up one way or the other and goes with it. And I'm also convinced that all those "lonely soul" guys, you know the ones i'm talking about always saying they want to be in a solid relationship, are only pouting b/c they're not getting sex on a regular basis.. period. Either way, come graduation, whatever fantasy he was entertaining is OVER. Unless someone's knocked up and he has to pay the price.
Age: 22-23; Theme: Gray Area; Description: Ahh, so a young man just graduates from college. What next? He's going to the superbowl! Maybe.. But that's neither here or there. Once graduating from college a guy may still be looking for a job or landed a sweet ass job paying him way more than he needs. Either way, these guys may still be reeling from the disappointments that came out of college. Either they didn't get the girlfriend they wanted and feel they might want one now. Or they broke up with the girlfriend they swore was "the one." Or they were a playa playa and got what they wanted.. no need to change pace if this was the outcome. But for the rest of the disappointed, the hurt from whatever bandaid was ripped off when they graduated is still there and might be their motivation for thinking that they really want a serious girlfriend. But then a funny thing happens. All of a sudden a guy starts to breath the air of freedom. Oh wonderous FREEDOM what did I do to deserve thee?? A guy will feel this freedom to different degrees. Is he making money out the ass and living away from the folks? Oh yeah, he's loving it. Was his mother always nagging him all through life and now he realizes that he can go days without having to talk to her? Oh yeah, he's loving it. He can do what he wants, when he wants, and he answers to no one.. except the bill collectors. This realization is what leads men into the next stage....
Age: 24-26; Theme: Screw 'em and dump 'em; Description: Ahh yes. This is the meat of it all. The time where most men are sewing those OATS! The difference comes in terms of how they choose to sew those oats. Like I said some guys like sex without the strings of a relationship. These guys will hit on any pretty thing that moves, get some sweet lovin and BOUNCE. Then there are the guys who like the relationship aspect b/c they're emotionally needy. Oh these guys can be the worst because they'll lull their prey in with promises of something deep and committed. And then after great sex and good times, its time to dump the prey at the side of the road and move on to greener pasteurs. It doesn't matter how long you've been together a month, a few months, 6 months, a year! If the guy feels he still has some fertile land he needs to investigate, he'll eventually be out of there and break up with you with some "it's not you its me" speech. And it really isn't you.. it really is him.. and his need to be with as many women as he possibly can before lockdown mode (i.e. marriage) begins. I'll even say that men at the tail end of this period are THE WORST to deal with. At least when they're really young they'll probably make no bones about wanting to just have fun. The older ones though, they're racing against an imaginary clock. They told themselves they were going to be married at so and so age.. leaving them a year or less to be free and crazy. These men might resort to any tactics to get the poontang. BEWARE.
Age: 26-28; Theme: Back to searching for the one; Description: With X amount of notches on his belt, and with years of experience with women in the "real world" a guy starts to wonder, is this all there is? Yeah the wild nights of partying and hooking up were fun but he needs something more. He wants to have babies! You don't want to have babies with just anyone! And hopefully he was careful enough in those earlier years to ensure that he didn't have any illegitamate kids. But as a guy friend described it to me, its like a "click" in a guy's head. A click that makes him think "me want to marry...now!" If the guy isn't very discerning he might marry anything that looks decent and is nice. Or when it comes to dating he'll at least stop trying to get sex on the first night with every woman he dates.. He'll take things slower, get to know the person.. etc etc.. And, if he's not suffering from any psychobabble problem (i.e. commitmentphobia) he'll get MURRRIED! Especially since a lot of family might start asking when he plans on settling down if he's not married after the age of 28, he might make the big push to get married at least before he's 35.
And that folks is my Crude male Dating Schema pulled out of my ass. Although I must say, having talked to enough guy friends I'm pretty sure it hold some water.. whether its a millimeter or a gallon is a different story :)
posted by GyangBang | 8:23 AM
1 Comments:
Bravo! That was excellently put. The only part I might disagree with is the 26-28 category...there's this thing called DENIAL that let's some men think they can stay in the screw-em-and-dump-em phase forever. But the final transformation itself sounds pretty accurate.
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