Diary of an attached man

I've recently had to look at the stone cold reality of life. As good as it feels to be a realist, I must say I miss peering out at life through starry eyed lenses. I don't like writing about deep stuff on my blog, so I'll keep it light and talk about, what else? men..

So after 3 months of dealing with Mr. Protege, it finally dawns on me what's causing his strange behavior. He's attached.. to someone else or maybe a few someones.

I must say I initially thought this to be the case. The calling but not planning dates, the sudden dissappearances. But after talking to a friend who said I was "giving him to much credit" for saying that he was dating others, I thought, hm, maybe I am giving him credit where it's not due. I mean isn't the biggest compliment you can give most men dubbing them a "mack daddy" "pimp master" etc...

I also noticed that he was available every weekend. Every weekend for 2 months, like clockwork he'd come knocking down my door. I thought, surely he can't be attached. What woman would let their boyfriend roam on the weekend? Then I thought to myself, what is the ratio of stupid women to not-stupid women? Aha.. Most men get away with ridiculous antics because they can always find someone to put up with it. These girls usually end up becoming the guys safety blanket. After he's been rejected by that awesome woman who refuses to put up with his crap he crawls back, tail tucked between his legs, to the woman that accepts him in all his idiocy. I don't know what the statistic is, but I truly doubt he ends up marrying the doormat. I mean while its nice to have that safety, do you really ever respect someone you can walk all over? I know I don't.

In any case, this just hit me out of the blue. After Mr. Protege called to tell me I "ssssucked" and has pretty much disappeared I realized, men are needy bastards! If its not sex, its emotional comfort, if its not that its food. They always need something due to their poor ability to create it for themselves. I mean masturbation is an option if you're sexually needy.. but at some point you just realize how pathetic you are. Men also seek women out as emotional meccas. Society teaches them that they should suppress their emotions and secrets. So they really can't be so emotionally open to their homeboys. So women, being open, giving, and nurturing help them release their emotional side without feeling like less than a man in front of his peers. And food.. well I don't know too many men who can actually cook.

So given how needy a man is, if he's not getting his needs met with you, chances are he's getting them met somewhere. That's what most people state as the first sign that a guy is cheating right? If he loses interest in having sex with you its b/c he's having his needs met elsewhere.

That being said, I think I met Mr. Protege's doormat the first time I met him. Well I didn't meet her as much as I got a glance. As she walked away he thought it necessary to draw my attention to her and called her his "best friend," who he had initally pursued romantically but then realized she had "nothing going for her." This is of course after I told him that I wasn't interested in anyone who had nothing going for them... oh what a smooth talker..

Good thing I've had this happen to me before in college. Mr... lets call him Cocky Bastard, always seemed to drop into my life when his relationship was on the rocks. Of course I didn't know at the time that he was in a relationship until one day at a party a mutual friend randomly mentioned his girlfriend. GIRLFRIEND?? Sigh.. Mr. Cocky Bastard and I are still on good terms since I never gave into his lying ways and we just stayed friends with no romantic involvement.

Same goes for Mr. Protege. Sometimes he acts like I'm his life's blood - hence the practical stalking. And other times.. who knows. Given that his disappearances are well timed with him "revealing" how much he likes me, in some way, I guess I could have just attributed it to basic guy behavior - pulling away from a situation far enough that they can be rational, rather than emotional. Not to say that this doesn't happen, and not to say there isn't an element of it in this situation, but there are clearly other things laying below the surface.

Now say Mr. Protege decides to pop back into my life and drop a line. Will I be hostile? Nope.. Why? Because he realizes I serve as no one's doormat. Not to mention I crossed him off of the boyfriend potential list a long time ago. But it just goes to show that now I'm not in the bubble of college where you can pretty much find out everything about anyone by simply asking around, I really have to keep my guard up. Not like its something I'm not good at doing anyway.

For that matter, it almost seems comical to me that many woman demand seriousness/committment way too early in a relationship. You don't even know this person well and you're demanding that they date you and only you. My advice? Even if you might be interested in someone in a romantic way, let a friendship develop first. I mean do you ever really care if a friend is acting shady to other women? Its funny to hear guys talk about the girls in their lives they're pulling stunts with. Just make sure you're not the girl they're talking about. And if having sex with them is going to make you a committment maniac, just don't do it. And that whole nonsense about how waiting a month to have sex is good timing - bullshit. A month is NOT enough time to get to know someone. Three months? A little better..

Peace, love, and romantic bliss...