Dating is like applying to medical school

I talked to a friend today that I hadn't spoken to in forever. He asked me how my med school application process eventually turned out and with excitement I told him that I had gotten into my alma mater! He asked, "is that the only one?" And then it dawned on me that YES! it was the ONLY school I got into straight off the bat. Of 8 schools I applied to, 6 granted me interviews. Of the 6 that I interviewed at I received 1 rejection (bastards, didn't like you no way!), 4 waitlist spots, and 1 acceptance. The ridiculous thing? ALL of the schools I did not get into had much higher acceptance rates than the school I DID get into, not to mention the odds were stacked against me since the school I got into really doesn't like taking its own kind.. go figure.

While I was having this conversation with my long lost acquantaince another friend was asking me if I had actually broken up with my bf yet. I was explaining to him that I was all ready to do it until my bf did something nice which totally haulted the "dump him train." Earlier, this friend was consoling me when I had planned out exactly what I was going to say to my bf but felt so sad about saying the words. I can't remember his exact words but his thoughts were that dating is a process where you have to put yourself out there a lot. You'll date plenty of people for varying lengths of time until you meet that one person you can't let go of. I thought this was much more insighful than the usually trite belief that you will find someone who will be your everything. My friend was pointing out the fact that you might not necessarily know "the one" when you meet them, but you'll know for certain when shit hits the fan that you still can't imagine letting go and that you will actually want to stick around and fix things.. both of you will want to, that is. I thanked him for his comments but then just got all depressive again and said that even though I want to blame the guys I date, at some point I start to wonder if its ME that is the problem and if I'm somehow unlovable. Again, my friend chimed in and told me that I am an awesome catch and no one should ever tell me otherwise and that when I meet that great person, it will work out.

It was only when I had both conversations with my friend and acquaintance that the similarities of applying to med school and dating became so evident. After getting on waitlist after waitlist I started to question my application. Was I really not as strong of a candidate as I thought I was? Was I being delusional? Should I really have aimed lower? I was on the verge of giving up. When I talked to my mother about it she tried to console me by saying that by being on the waitlist at really great schools I had actually accomplished something since I wasn't outright rejected and that I WILL be going to med school in the fall. I kept being hesitant until that fateful night when I recieved the call that I had been accepted to med school. It didn't even make sense until I look back at my interview day - it was just perfect!

Firstly I forgot to set an alarm to wake up so I overslept and I woke up when I heard my bf rustling around the apartment getting ready for work. I was running late and freaking out. My dog had to pee but I needed to get to campus at 7:15. I ran to my bf and asked him if he could let my dog out in the back so he could potty. He did one better and offered to take him for a walk before he left for work. Sweet! I was out the door. Lo and behold I don't know how I made it but I arrived at the med school office building at 7:15 on the dot. My interviewers were two pediatricians, a field that I am currently interested in. And in talking to both of them, I was so much more myself with them than I was at any of my other interviews. My last interviewer even said that after reading my application he looked forward to meeting me and after the interview he said that I made him proud to be an American! I was truly myself with the students and faculty I talked to and they loved it! And I loved it! I F-I-T. Even though it was supposed to take 3 weeks for the committee to reach a decision on my application, I received the call a week later.

Now that brings me back to dating. I know that my current bf and I will break up. And even though I'm not in love with him it does make me extremely sad. You get to know someone, their desires, their vision of the world, their hopes for the future, and all of a sudden you're supposed to take a step back because the role of friend ends up being a lot less involved than the role of girlfriend. For me, that sucks. It sucks even more b/c I know that the lack of passion on my end to continue this relationship is felt on his end as well, making me feel like I'm doing something wrong if I can't get a guy to care about me more than just keeping him company when its convenient! But then I realize, hey. For ME, someone who had a "real" boyfriend at 21 when most kids are dating in junior high, having 2 boyfriends who treated me well is an accomplishment. More than that, the second bf ended up being 100 times better than the first in terms of having more of the qualities I look for in a guy. And when things don't work out in a relationship it's not tha I'm not a great candidate (or catch) it's just that it doesnt.. f..i..t.. And if both the med school and my dating situation are TRULY the same, well then I'm going to be one happily married woman to a man that is so awesome that it could only be a dream come true...

:-)