Men are hella annoying

As I'm sitting here attempting to do work in Palo Alto after meeting with my undergrad advisor, my thoughts drift away to other things. This happens frequently given the mundane nature of the work I have recently been assigned. I feel a rumbling in my stomach and it reminds me of last night. I was sitting in my room with my door closed talking to my mother. All of a sudden, my roommate/ex boyfriend, OPENS my door KNOWING that I'm talking to my mother (he was the one who gave me the phone) and tells me I should try these roasted oysters he just bought. I was mostly trying to listen to what my mother was saying and after looking at the can of oysters thought he must be joking and that he was actually attempting to feed me cat food. He kept being pushy so I grabbed the fork and shoved the oyster in my mouth. How ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING it was. He then trotted off and offered some to the other roommate. Lord knows if she fell for it. After I got off the phone with my mother I had to rinse my mouth out with vodka to ensure the taste would be completely gone from my mouth. I cursed my roommate for giving me such disgusting food and went back to my room. As I had this thought, one of his best friends called, who I now claim as my own bff (Best Friend 4 Life - or just temporarily who knows), and I told him the story and his response is, "Why the hell was he eating oysters?" I had no idea really. After getting off the phone I remembered when the roommate/ex boyfriend was into eating pineapple because he said it makes semen taste less bad (I would say better, but saying "makes semen taste better" doesn't quite jive with me, cuz yeah, gross all around). Then it dawned on me that oysters are considered to be an aphrodisiac! OMG! He bought them to get more horny? For WHOM? Eh, none of my business anymore right? Either way, boys are hella annoying...