Are You Gellin'

Ok.. I can't stand those commercials so I'll stop there. In any case, I'm starting to have the same ominous feelings I had before I broke up w/ my boyfriend. For the few minutes I had to think about this (oh who am I kidding, I tried working to forget about it, but obviously that didn't work b/c here I am) something feels strange. I know when you've been gone for a few months you probably have a lot to take care of but at the same time HELLO whad'do I gotta do to get some attention ova hea? And I guess he hasn't given me any less attention than before he left but two things have changed; the first being the easiest to identify. After being gone so long without getting to talk to someone I'd think that he wouldn't fall into his "every other day" calling routine. But then I thought about it.. maybe I complain too much.. who wants to call a complainer? Good point. The other point took a little more digging to figure out.. Relationships move forward, they stagnate, or they take a step back. This is the longest relationship I've ever had, so I guess I'm not quite sure what to do. I feel we should be moving forward in some way and that we're currently staggering. But what would moving forward mean?? I don't know! Marriage is not on the short list, but maybe acting together more as a unit is. But I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that idea. I get the early dating stuff. You can be selfish and independent and that's ok b/c you're just dating and neither of you owe anything to the other person. But after a while the whole separate lives and getting together for dates gets old and actually feels quite uncomfortable. I feel like he should be sharing more with me, and I with him. But how does one bring this up w/o sounding like a whiny "girl." Not sure. Then again, I'm not sure its so bad to be that whiny girl. You teach people how to treat you. And if you let them take your feelings for granted too often, they learn that its par for the course... Also, I think he's physically too close to his family to actually "move forward" in the relationship. I remember reading somewhere that people only fully step into a relationship with both feet when they have gotten adequate distance (emotional and physical) from their family of origin. It makes sense.. if your family isn't constantly around to give you emotional support, you turn to your partner as the primary source of that. But if you see your dad every day or every weekend, a relationship is more secondary..

bah..