Step 1: Be friendly but not too friendly

Yesterday my roommate made a comment about how she could never get a particular guy to be interested in her. I told her quite the contrary. Most people can have anyone they want, anyone. But most don't know how to go about it so they just say "oh its not meant to be." Granted, you don't want to ultimately spend time with someone who you don't jive with, but there is fun in knowing that you have the power to attract people you actually do like, and at least practice on the people you don't like so much. But when I look back at all the times I've had the most random type of guys express interest I realized that there was a certain pattern to our interactions. The whole point, I guess, is to sneak up on a person by surprise. One day they'll be thinking of you a lot more than usual, they'll want to please you for some strange reason, and they won't know what hit them. That's it. It sounds very self-helpy but unlike those douche bags I'm not charging money for the advice.. well not yet anyway ;)

The other thing about the attraction pattern is that right off the bat, if you asked the guy about me, he might reveal that I wasn't even his type. I'm no model, and don't have universal appeal, but yet, I don't think its impossible, or rocket science, to get a person who isn't initially taken by you to finally succumb. I should also add that the time table it takes is completely variable. Sometimes it takes weeks, maybe months, and even years.. yes years.. but again, not impossible.

Also, the steps in my previous post mostly have to do with the initial attraction/getting to know you stage. After that though, if you're a good person and its a good match, the rest shouldn't be too difficult, unless you're dealing w/ someone who is exceptionally difficult. Baring that, after the attraction part, it mostly takes not making predictable relationship mistakes and you should be set. As for commitment and marriage.. well I haven't been worrying about that part too much so when the day comes, maybe I'll have something to say about that too.

Step 1

The point of step one is to be as innocuous as possible in the beginning. The point is to surprise the person later on. You don't want to come off as a freak and you don't want to show much interest. Its best to be just nice in the beginning because you don't know what their first thoughts about you are. If they're not really interested and you show a lot of interest they'll be turned off. But if you're just friendly in general to the person in the beginning, the person has no basis to really judge you except for appearances, which is a characteristic that can be changed in some ways. So that's not such a bad thing.

As a matter of fact, the person may not even notice you at first. Especially if you are in a social situation where everyone is yip yapping and trying to get to know each other, if you just kick it on the sidelines for a while, thats not a bad thing. As a matter of fact its a good thing. Because eventually people who chit chat about garbage eventually tire of each other. And then they realize that they don't know you that well.. and all of a sudden you become more interesting.

Again, the point of the first step is to be a benign stimulus in the background of their life. Even if you're drop dead gorgeous be nice, but not too nice.