Standing at a corner, waiting for no one

There is this quote that goes something like - There is nothing more powerful than to stand at a corner and wait for no one. I still, till this day, do not understand what it means, but I think the person who was quoting it was trying to express the point that being content with who you are is a powerful thing.. I think..

In any case, after coming out of a ROUGH quarter - crazy academic load, teacher died, troubles with close family members - I have come to the point in my life where I can say I am truly jealous of no one... NO ONE.

This quarter I found out that I am one of very few minorities at my med school that doesn't drive a luxury car - BMW, Mercedes, you name it, apparently they all have them. I on the other hand drive a Mazda Protege that has more dents in it than it should (I should really work on my parking). Jealous much? Nope.

This quarter I found out that no matter how hard I study, there are at least 15-20 people in my class that will do better on an exam than I will. Jealous much? Nope

This quarter I found out that even though people say that everyone has issues to deal with in life, a lot of people don't get the brunt of the burden. I will always have to deal with things that other people can't even fathom. Jealous much? Nope.

This quarter I had friends who quit their jobs or decided to tone down their schedules and relaxed on beaches and/or travelled the world... while I worked like a slave. Jealous much? Nope.

And to what prompted this post - one of my old roommates still can't believe that I'm dating my current boyfriend (she was roommates with him at the time as well) and she goes on and on about how great her boyfriend is and how I could always find someone hotter, more cultured, blah blah. Jealous much? Nope.

To the last point, its quite funny actually, this old roommate of mine. She was a random person from craigslist who I became roommates with and went out with on occasion. And when she found out I was dating our third roommate, she just couldn't believe it. Everytime we would get drunk she'd ask me why I was dating him and site how "beautiful and sophisticated" I was and how I could get anybody, so why him? Her questions were strange and I didn't take much offense to them for three reasons - 1.) My bf thought she was an idiot so he never took much time to talk to her or explain anything to her; 2.) she thought HE was an idiot, who must be a trailer trash republican, who couldn't work out simple problems; 3.) She had just gotten dumped by the "love of her life" and so I just figured she was hurting and taking it out on people..

I found her view of my bf to be absolutely hilarious - for the record his dad is the CEO of a civil engineering firm, he grew up in a house that his dad built, not a trailer, and he was in talented and gifted programs since he was in elementary school. I never explained those things to her, I just kept letting her be puzzled about the whole thing.

Since she's moved to So Cal and seems to be enjoying her life and is "in a relationship" I thought it would be the last I'd here of her bf bashing.. Oh but quite the contrary. Today I got a message from myspace that said that my old roommate had commented twice on some pictures. I looked at them and underneath a picture of my boyfriend and I she posts "WHAAAAAATTT!!!!" twice.

And so now I'm not sure what to take of her recent comments.. which are very public and could be taken as offensive by my bf or any of his friends. I mean, she's not a good friend so I don't take them seriously, and will have to take them down before my bf gets back. Buuuuttt... I can't seem to understand why she cares so God Damn much!!!!!!! We're not friends, why do you caaaaare?

I mean I've been told before that my bf is hot, or cute, or plain, or not "sophisticated." Lol. I always find the last one to be funny. As a matter of fact I now remember another girlfriend who (drunkenly) freely said, "Yeah, when I first met him he seemed like a nice guy. I mean I guess I thought he must be packin since he didn't seem like your type." "What's my type?" I asked. "Oh well I just thought you'd be more into the city slicker type who was smooth and well-dressed." "Oh," I said and moved on. I used to explain to friends at least what i saw in him. But now I'd through doing that. I see no need to justify my choice in a guy. Though as one friend put it, it took me so long to pick someone that they thought I was holding out for someone larger than life. Lol. No.

I'm happy with where my life is and who I share it with.. so what really interests me in this whole thing is why someone (my ex roommate) would care so damn much.

There is the simple explanation - Jealousy. But I'm not sure it would be that. Its one thing if she was jealous that I had a bf and she didn't, but thats certainly not the case now. Also, if she doesn't think he's the greatest thing since sliced bread, well then, what is there to be jealous about? Another explanation - anger at perceived mismatch of leauges? I'm not really sure about this one either. I mean if I see a super model and I see a guy who I think is ugly and they're dating I may wonder "why him?" to myself but to constantly spew out comments about the topic? Nope.. especially if they have nothing to do with my life. It's one thing if I had an annoying roommate who "ehem" had her bf over all the time and I couldn't stand it and in my bitching I also brought up the fact that he was really unattractive and I couldn't see why they were dating.. but save for that.. nope.. couldn't see myself giving a damn. A third explanation - she told me a couple of times that my bf reminded me of an ex-bf. Although, I feel there was a lot of projection going on there. Apparently her ex-bf was crazy and tore up their apartment - which she had to pay for - and threatened to hurt her cat - crazy - all things my bf wouldn't do so I'm not sure where that comes from...

But they say that when we have a strong emotional reaction to something it has to do with something that bothers us that happened when we were younger... I don't know enough about the girl so who knows.

Then again, maybe all my friends talk shit, but since they're friends they don't say it to my face. Maybe thats it. That makes more sense than anything else I could come up with.

And maybe it'll be one of those situations where I wake up one day and think "OMG what was I thinking?" My mom said she did that with my dad once she left him. Ha.

Either way, this is the face of someone so content with their lives that they just don't care -------> <(^-^)>