Can you initiate contact to make friends?
I learned from my undergraduate dating career that having to initiate contact with a guy to pursue a date is a big No, NO! Some people will tell you that that's bs and they pursued so and so and it worked out. Whatever, in my experience you just start out on the wrong foot. Especially because if a guy wants you that bad - which of course any guy you are considering dating should want you "that" bad - he'd find a way to contact you.
Currently I'm in an interesting situation. Having recently broken up with my boyfriend, I feel the need to make new friends; friends I can hang out with, go to parties with, etc. My mother used to say, "Don't date. You should just have 'friends'" Quite honestly I thought "friends" was code word for friends with benefits. But I've recently questioned her about the whole "friends" issue and she really just meant friends and NO benefits. Gotta love the 'rents. They're so cute.
Any how, I met this guy. We'll call him, Mr. Sportsfan. Mr. Sportsfan is in another graduate program at my University and I've met him twice.. both times I had been drinking, so had he, but I'm not sure he was drunk really. The first time I had a boyfriend and so while there was some talking going back and forth, I don't remember there being much flirting. The second time I was sans boyfriend and I *thought* we were flirting, but Mr. Sportsfan never "closed the deal" so I'll take it as innocent flirtation.
Well Mr. Sportsfan might make great "friend" material (remember friends with NO benefits). He's way too young (i.e. my age), we can just shoot the shit, and there is enough of a lack of interest on both our parts that a friendship can stay within the bounds of innocent flirting.
But seeing that I'm not good at making friends, especially guy friends, I'm kind of at a loss as to how to proceed. Since we're both single any attempt at initiating a friendly activity could be seen as trying to get a date. Furthermore, is approaching a guy for friendship as bad as approaching him for a relationship? And by approaching, I'm not suggesting calling or emailing and being like "hey can we be friends?" LAME. I mostly mean acknowledging a person's presence... which for a guy has a lot of implications..
Hm, skin block is boring me and I feel in the mood to experiment..
Currently I'm in an interesting situation. Having recently broken up with my boyfriend, I feel the need to make new friends; friends I can hang out with, go to parties with, etc. My mother used to say, "Don't date. You should just have 'friends'" Quite honestly I thought "friends" was code word for friends with benefits. But I've recently questioned her about the whole "friends" issue and she really just meant friends and NO benefits. Gotta love the 'rents. They're so cute.
Any how, I met this guy. We'll call him, Mr. Sportsfan. Mr. Sportsfan is in another graduate program at my University and I've met him twice.. both times I had been drinking, so had he, but I'm not sure he was drunk really. The first time I had a boyfriend and so while there was some talking going back and forth, I don't remember there being much flirting. The second time I was sans boyfriend and I *thought* we were flirting, but Mr. Sportsfan never "closed the deal" so I'll take it as innocent flirtation.
Well Mr. Sportsfan might make great "friend" material (remember friends with NO benefits). He's way too young (i.e. my age), we can just shoot the shit, and there is enough of a lack of interest on both our parts that a friendship can stay within the bounds of innocent flirting.
But seeing that I'm not good at making friends, especially guy friends, I'm kind of at a loss as to how to proceed. Since we're both single any attempt at initiating a friendly activity could be seen as trying to get a date. Furthermore, is approaching a guy for friendship as bad as approaching him for a relationship? And by approaching, I'm not suggesting calling or emailing and being like "hey can we be friends?" LAME. I mostly mean acknowledging a person's presence... which for a guy has a lot of implications..
Hm, skin block is boring me and I feel in the mood to experiment..
Labels: approach, friendships, Sportsfan
posted by GyangBang | 10:29 AM
1 Comments:
interestingly enough I am in a similar situation.. I asked a guy if he wanted to hang out, but as a completely platonic sort of thing. Anyway, it was weird having to initiate a... friendship... so I am going over to his house tomorrow and I'm praying it won't be awkward. But if it isn't then I really think this guy would be a great friend to have. I think its the same with you. IF you can get past the awkwardness it could be great. Just make sure it is purely friendship...
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