My fears
If you've been in earshot of me in the following week, you could probably deduce that right now my greatest fear is dying in a plane crash.. It doesn't help that I'm getting on a 15 hour flight in less than a week.. which I guess is what prompted the fear in the first place. But while after 9/11 I have feared horrible plane mishaps, this time the fear has been more intense.. to the point that I keep talking about it! (Blog subject case in point)
But I think I'm finally realizing why I'm so afraid. My fear is stemming from my position in life right now and my view of the future. Usually in my life there is something seriously lacking. Either I'm on the verge of being broke, or I'm struggling to keep up with my workload, or people in my family are fighting, or my love life sucks... but now, none of that is happening. I'm almost done with my first year of med school, my bf treats me like gold, I'm getting to visit my mom for a week in Europe, and when I get back I'll actually be doing research on a patient population I have always dreamed of working with.
So right now I fear that everything is too good to be true and that it can all be snatched away from me in the blink of an eye. Its like my mother says - When things are bad, be happy that things can't get worse, and good things are around the corner. When things are good, honey, be afraid, because things will get bad soon. And thats part of life.
Lol. There has to be a happy medium.. but I'm having no luck finding it right now :-/
But I think I'm finally realizing why I'm so afraid. My fear is stemming from my position in life right now and my view of the future. Usually in my life there is something seriously lacking. Either I'm on the verge of being broke, or I'm struggling to keep up with my workload, or people in my family are fighting, or my love life sucks... but now, none of that is happening. I'm almost done with my first year of med school, my bf treats me like gold, I'm getting to visit my mom for a week in Europe, and when I get back I'll actually be doing research on a patient population I have always dreamed of working with.
So right now I fear that everything is too good to be true and that it can all be snatched away from me in the blink of an eye. Its like my mother says - When things are bad, be happy that things can't get worse, and good things are around the corner. When things are good, honey, be afraid, because things will get bad soon. And thats part of life.
Lol. There has to be a happy medium.. but I'm having no luck finding it right now :-/
Labels: cycles, fears, too good to be true
posted by GyangBang | 9:40 PM
1 Comments:
I know we already talked about this over lunch (and I know you're out of the country and may not read this comment for a while), but I can't tell you how much I understand what you're saying. It's like I'm not even comfortable being comfortable. It's a surprise when I find things going right in my life, and then I'm like, "OK, so what tragedy is going to befall me now?"
As for plane crashes, you of course know it's statistically much much safer than driving and a hundred other things we do every day. And here's some tech info: the FAA requires airplane engines to be oversized. That is, if an engine fails at the worst possible time (past the point of no return on takeoff, when the engines need to produce the most thrust), the other engine must be capable of accelerating the entire aircraft to takeoff speed and clearing a 35 foot tall object at the end of the runway. So as long as both engines are running, you have all that power *times two* on your side. :-) Also, I don't know of any accidents that have ever happened at cruising altitude. Takeoff and landing are the only dangerous times. At cruising altitude, the engines aren't working that hard, and there's hardly anything up there to run into. So for most of the flight, you're quite safe!
Hope that alleviates your flying fear a bit! And I hope you're enjoying Europe (as Eddie says, "Where the history comes from!")
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