Trigger Happy
I'm so amazingly pissed right now I figure I should channel the energy somehow. Let me add that I don't even have TIME to be pissed. Why? Because its only been a week and a half of med school and I'm already behind on my work, which piles up by the nanosecond.
Why am I so pissed? Because for the 3rd time the bf has flaked on something he said. The first? Last weekend when he talked me out of coming up to the city b/c he was "too drunk" and was going to pass out.. yet called me at 2 am from a cab going home. The second? The next day, while sober, he said he'd come down on Tuesday b/c he had to take a test for the national guard. Then he calls on Tuesday to say his dad convinced him not to enlist so he wasn't coming down, but he'd come down Friday. Oh the third? Ah this is what's got me pissed. He calls around 5 pm and says he wants to come down but has to figure out which weekend day works best. He calls back later and all of a sudden he has to do all of this work and turn in something on Monday so Monday or Tuesday would be better.
How do I respond at this point. "FUCK YOU! I got better things to do than being flaked on." Actually I didn't say that, although I really should have. Instead I laughed out of anger and told him that he should figure his life out and call me when he actually knows what he's doing.
Now lets note something, I'm not a really needy person. So if you've pissed me off, you've gone too far. Secondly, I wouldnt be HALF as mad if he never even said he was coming. If he just said, yeah I've got lots of work to do, but I'll figure it out and let you know.. maybe I'd be annoyed, but I wouldnt be angry. When you give me a day and then keep flaking? Oh you've got me pissed; so pissed I consider breaking up w/ you.
In my anger though, I'm trying to figure out if this is an offense worthy of a break-up. I realize that once *anything* goes wrong I'm inclined to call it quits. Maybe I'm a little too trigger happy. But seeing that the bf now lives 3 hours away and I started med school, such offenses get blown up. I don't have the room in my schedule to keep shifting around and there isn't much time to see each other in the first place.
I'm still annoyed, and as a friend has said, I should never make decisions when I'm upset. But I've made this one decision - this relationship has officially been SHELVED. I've honestly got better things to do than be pissed or annoyed and if thats going to be a product of all of this, well then, the best thing to do is move on with my life. I'm not putting effort in to make anything work. I just don't have the time...So if shit starts falling apart its going to snowball out of control pretty quickly.
Seeing my past record though, don't be surprised if there is yet another break-up thread.
Why am I so pissed? Because for the 3rd time the bf has flaked on something he said. The first? Last weekend when he talked me out of coming up to the city b/c he was "too drunk" and was going to pass out.. yet called me at 2 am from a cab going home. The second? The next day, while sober, he said he'd come down on Tuesday b/c he had to take a test for the national guard. Then he calls on Tuesday to say his dad convinced him not to enlist so he wasn't coming down, but he'd come down Friday. Oh the third? Ah this is what's got me pissed. He calls around 5 pm and says he wants to come down but has to figure out which weekend day works best. He calls back later and all of a sudden he has to do all of this work and turn in something on Monday so Monday or Tuesday would be better.
How do I respond at this point. "FUCK YOU! I got better things to do than being flaked on." Actually I didn't say that, although I really should have. Instead I laughed out of anger and told him that he should figure his life out and call me when he actually knows what he's doing.
Now lets note something, I'm not a really needy person. So if you've pissed me off, you've gone too far. Secondly, I wouldnt be HALF as mad if he never even said he was coming. If he just said, yeah I've got lots of work to do, but I'll figure it out and let you know.. maybe I'd be annoyed, but I wouldnt be angry. When you give me a day and then keep flaking? Oh you've got me pissed; so pissed I consider breaking up w/ you.
In my anger though, I'm trying to figure out if this is an offense worthy of a break-up. I realize that once *anything* goes wrong I'm inclined to call it quits. Maybe I'm a little too trigger happy. But seeing that the bf now lives 3 hours away and I started med school, such offenses get blown up. I don't have the room in my schedule to keep shifting around and there isn't much time to see each other in the first place.
I'm still annoyed, and as a friend has said, I should never make decisions when I'm upset. But I've made this one decision - this relationship has officially been SHELVED. I've honestly got better things to do than be pissed or annoyed and if thats going to be a product of all of this, well then, the best thing to do is move on with my life. I'm not putting effort in to make anything work. I just don't have the time...So if shit starts falling apart its going to snowball out of control pretty quickly.
Seeing my past record though, don't be surprised if there is yet another break-up thread.
posted by GyangBang | 7:56 PM
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