I'm only effin 23!

Yes, ok, i'm a little slow. But it just dawned on me, I've been taking life to effin seriously! I'm only 23! WHY am I talking about where I want to live and raise a family, or whether or not I'll get married to my boyfriend, or being in the prime of my life, or where my career is headed.

Geeeeez. I haven't been feeling well, mentally, for the past couple of days and I think I needed a day of doing absolutely nothing, not over thinking, nothing to get the huge corkscrew in my head dislodged. I've been beating myself up for everything, wondering when I'll do cutting edge research, when I'll try for this award, when will I get married blah blah blah.

Sigh. Man. Back to my regularly scheduled program of being effin 23. Making eyes with the cuties, letting my milkshake bring all the boys to the yard - even if I only look, no touching, not cheating! If I get married to my bf great, if not, pshhhh I'm gonna be a doctor.. I will be more than fine in the finding of eligible bachelors. I should start being more personable - even if I hate you. I should come to realize that all life decisions don't have to be made immediatly.. or any time soon for that matter. Time to delve into MY interests, the things that excite me, not what will look good on a resume. Express myself as fully as I desire.. b/c when I'm 45 no matter how much I want to, ppl are going to say "God, she thinks she's 23 but she's 45. How sad!" No more repression b/c as CG Jung said - "Everything in the uncouncious seeks outward manifestation."

Sorry that most of this is incoherent. I just had to get that all off my chest.