Trying to have your cake and eat it too..

can make you one sad individual. I don't think that this is a necessarily intuitive point. For example, a guy who has a girlfriend but flirts or sleeps with other women on the side is trying to have his cake and eat it too. He might be having the time of his life, where is the downside? Well.. lets not get into that. Lets assume that if the gf never finds out, then for a long while, for him there is no downside.

Today I'm having one of my very apathetic moods towards school. I'm bored with the material and keep trying to distract myself with miscellaneous ideas. It just dawned on me that the source of this unhappiness with school probably has something to do with my idea that school should not be my life; that I should be able to do what I want, when I want, and still get a degree.

I'm not quite sure why I believe this. Its not like I wasn't warned that med school would be tough, and it would require extreme diligence and work ethic. But somewhere along the way, someone lied to me. I'd like to blame it on my school. This whole, "we're pass/fail, which allows you to pursue your interests" thing is complete crap. Now that we took the bait, we've been told that the curriculum is designed to have us studying all the time.. Ugh.

I think the only way I'm going to feel better about my life for the next 4-5 years is to shut out all those who say that I should have time to do 100 other things, and that med school is fun (yes I've heard people say that), and realize that I can only do so much. My priority is school and everything else I get to do beyond that is a perk... and this is coming from a person who really is just aiming to pass...

:-/