Why we should stop reading books that give advice about life

I woke up quite early this morning to go to work. While I was getting ready I watched the Today Show with Katy Curick and Matt Loure (sp?). They mentioned that later on in the show they would have the author's of the book "He's Just Not That Into You : The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys" back because the book made it on so many bestseller lists and women around the country were dumping their boyfriends. I didn't end up seeing the segment since they had all these other segments about families pulling children out of burning cars and such and I was already late for work. Bummer.

Now if I were still a sophomore in college, I may have stayed to see the segment even if it meant being an hour late from work. But that was a while back and I'm in a different place right now. A better place, at least in understanding guys. So i went to Amazon.com to see what this book is about. And pretty much it gives common sense advice that if anyone would pull the wool off their eyes they'd be able to see without wasting $19.95 + tax. It can be pretty simple to tell if a guy is interested in you. He hangs around a lot.. more than usual.. You catch him staring at you when you're going about your business.. and sometimes he'll even compliment you.. A LOT. Now whether or not a guy likes you enough to "like you in that way" is a little different I guess. And a lot of the times, when a guy has the cajones, he'll call and ask you out for a date. I think thats a major sign of being enamored. NO DUH! If a guy's not so interested he's not going to go out of his way to say hi, make conversation, or ask you out on a date. Trust me, you can tell.

What annoys me about this retarded book is that it makes sweeping generalizations that will cause people to misinterpret a situation and dump perfectly good guys (or at least as good as you're going to get ;) ) The book pretty much says, if a guy likes you enough, they'll chase you. They'll bring you roses, they'll sing to you from balconies, they will STALK YOU until they wear you DOOOWN! And if you do as much as lift a finger to call and say hi, or suggest a movie date, they'll turn cold as a fish and lose ALL interest. Mhm, yeah.

So here's Elsie's take on it (Sorry, I'll stop referring to myself in the third person) When I first read about the book I thought, wow this is ridiculous! Dumb! It took me until the end of the day to realize, yes, any guy that I have tried to pursue has lost interest for one reason or the other; even if pursuing just meant i called them once to see what they were up to. And then I thought, wait, it wasn't that I was "pursuing" them, it was that it just wasn't meant to be in the FIRST place. I could have NEVER called a guy and eventually something else would have taken his interest. And the guys who have tried to pursue me endlessly, the very few, I usually just took their attention for granted, used them for something and said, "You know Bill, you're a cool guy (or not) but I'm not interested in you in that way."

The truth is folks, a large majority of guys willing to jump through fire hurdles to have you do so because they know they are inadequate when compared to you. They know you're beautiful and they're not. They know that you're an awesome dancer, and they're not. You're smart, they're not. They know that they're lame, and you're NOT. Maybe this only pertains to college or just people I know, but people you might actually want to date, you know fun, good looking, interesting, have a lot of people vying for their attention. Nine times out of 10 they're not going to do everything in they're power to get you. Even a half-assed feable attempt to impress you is noteworthy. This dynamic changes much later in life though, when the men that thought they were great shit realize that their are a shitload more lame women out there than good ones and come crawling back and try to impress that girl they used to wipe their ass back in the day.

I think what the book fails to do is let people in on a better secret. That guy that you've known for a long time and that you think is a really awesome person but who you don't like in that way right now might turn into the love of your life later on. Good, lasting relationships happen when you go SLOW. And that's a lot of people's problems. It's hard to go slow, especially when you meet someone who knocks your socks off. If you try to push anything you risk having the person run away by freaking them out! Even if you meet someone new and start dating right away, still best to take things SLOW.

Then again, there are some people, like me, who aren't in the game for love. Truthfully I'd just like to meet someone who I can be friends with, makes 6 figures + and has good genes to make great kids with. Now to get this I can take either the slow route, or the "game" route. The game route takes skill to master. You can never rush things, but they don't have to take eternity. The game route unfortunately is a harder task. It takes planning and scheming but gets you what you want. Some people may object to this route, but hey, not every guy is solely smitten by a pretty face, sometime's you've got to work!

So yes, that is all. I don't know why I used to read books for advice, or magazines. I think its best to follow instincts, learn from mistakes, and stop reading crap advice that will ruin your life. ;)