Playing Hard to Get vs. Getting Played

I have pajama shorts from Urban Outfitters that has a graphic of a boy toddler with a net in his hand running after a girl toddler and underneath is a caption that says "Love is Playing Hard to Get." I picked it out b/c the graphic was cute and I needed some cuter sleepwear.

I wondered to myself after buying it, "Is that really true?"

I guess part of the reason girls play hard to get is so that they don't get played themselves. No one wants to be someone else's doormat. If you make them chase you, chances are you won't have "Welcome" stamped on your forehead. But how far, how much, and for how long must one run before its ok to slow down and be caught? Moreover, how far, how much, and for how long can you go before the other pesron just says, "Fuck it!"

A lot of people might say, a good person is willing to run to the ends of the earth for you if they really want you. I say.. well.. it depends. I mean would you even run down the block after someone you thought was hot, but didnt know? Probably not. So clearly the game of playing hard to get takes some balance of giving some and holding some back. Playing hard to get also depends on how attractive you are. If you're ugly, you better damn well have the confidence of Condaleeza Rice to have anyone put up with chasing you. Now I don't want to say that if you're beautiful you don't have to give anything. Being beautiful just means you'll have more people chasing. If your personality sucks, you'll have more people dropping out of the race like flies. So just being attractive puts you at a good place in the game.

So how do you know how much to give? when to give it? etc etc.. That I don't know. I'd classify myself as a "bad dater." I mean I'm not a bad date. I like to have fun, I have a lot of personality. But I am extremely guarded. Fort Knox has nothing on me. This is problematic. Being so guarded has the same effect as telling a guy to fuck off apparently. So I don't recommend this approach. Some people are naturally good at playing hard to get. These people usually have high confidence, self-esteem, and never feel like they need to be with someone else. Feeling lonely is almost assurance that you will have no clue how to play hard to get. So individuals have to figure out their own rules from their own experiences and from advice thats pretty universal. Like NEVER sleep with the guy on the first, second, or third date. I'd say for at least a month. I mean some relationships blossom despite hot, heaviness in the very beginning, but this is rarely the case. And sometimes instead of playing games its best to role with the punches at the beginning. Don't be a doormate but dont be a mega-bitch either (hm.. I'll need to learn that one).

All this said, I'd like to believe that there is someone out there that will put up with your bullshit, no matter how deep and muddy it gets. Then again, some people ascribe to the view that, there are a lot of fish in the sea. If one person doesn't act right, throw the bitch back and pull in another one. I used to believe this, until I also thought, well if I throw the Mahi Mahi back in, who's to say I won't get Tuna next time? I hate! Tuna.