Breaking up is..uh.. weird to do

So I just broke up w/ my boyfriend. He didn't do anything aggregious, but I guess it was just a combination of having mounting feelings for him and realizing early on that his were waning. We had a calm discussion of my grievances - lessened calls during the week, not making the effort to see each other, not being treated the way I deserved to be treated. He apologized for making me feel bad and after a long winding way of getting there, finally admitted that the relationship was getting more serious than he planned or wanted it to. He's young, is working on his career, and doesn't want to feel depended on. Funny he admitted that he wanted to say it earlier but knew it would cost him the relationship since I'm not a person who believes in half-assedness. Fair enough. I'm just glad that I had the self-respect and enough pride in myself to know what I want and to cut things off when I didn't feel I was recieving it.

I realize though in my short lived relationship, which I guess was officially my first, I'm not the kind of person who can get emotionally involved willy nilly. Admittedly I started to like Mo a lot after the past couple of weeks, but realize that before then I was very luke warm. Being luke warm just made me doubt everything. Should I be in a relationship with someone who doesn't immediatly light my fire? I thought that maybe the flame would come later.. but really if its not there, its not there. And since my family is not in the practice of arranging marriages, I can let go of someone who just doesn't do it for me. The whole time though I thought I wasn't getting emotionally involved b/c I was just being rational, no one likes having a broken heart. But I realize now that I never let myself get emotionally involved b/c I could see the writing on the wall.. I wasn't in love with mo and he wasn't in love with me.. we had a friendship at best. And even with all that said, I'm still a little sad. Not sad enough to swear off men.. we parted amicably, but with the sense that there is only so many times I can do this and only so long of a list of exes that I want in my dating history. B/c of this, truthfully, I don't think I'm going to have a boyfriend for a looong time, probably when I start my residency. At least then I know that there is a possibility of marriage and that the odds of breaking up are lower..

I wish my ex the best, and really do wish we could be friends.. but guys arent so much into the friendship thing so I guess thats a bust? Such is life...