An interesting thing about happiness

Yeah I'm supposed to be working, but after reading a friend's blog, I was reminded of a concept my mom taught me since I could process speech pretty much. My mom's theory is that happiness and tragedy are on the same life wheel for everyone. When something tragic happens, one should not fret, for better times are surely ahead. I guess in a way its about balance. You can't have too much good in your life or too much tragedy. Somehow it all balances out. Although, it must also be the case then that balance works on a macro level, some people will have much more happiness in their life at the expense of people who have nothing but tragedy in theirs.

It isn't an original concept; buddhists, christians, and I'm sure kabalists believe the same thing... balance. A friend once described the concept in terms of a mutual friend. "See you can't have everything. [She] is gorgeous, has a great boyfriend, and is doing really well in her major. [She's] probably going to get married after graduation and have great kids. But to balance it all out, she's going to die at 38 of colon cancer. See Elsie, you shouldn't get married. Just be miserable and you'll live to 80. Only bitter people end up living that long."

I thought to myself, hm, I guess it would suck to die of colon cancer before you get to your 40th birthday, but would I really want to live as a bitter old hag, alone, and mad at the world until I was 80! No! I'd rather have a happy balance, not really saying how long I'd want to live, but at least having a life I enjoyed in summary is important. In summary meaning, there were good time and bad, but the good times helped me cope with the bad.. etc.

I read this book about luck called "The Luck Factor." Cheesy I know, but there were a few gems in the book. The author explained how people having high occurence of self-reported luck were much more social than people who thought their lives were doomed. It makes sense, the more social you are, the more chances you have to network or find someone who can provide you with something you want or need. Moreover, people who thought they were lucky always put a positive spin on the bad times like, "Wow, life is shit now, but it's going to turn around. It always does." It was an interesting way to look at luck. It's not just something that happens to you. Luck is something you create for yourself.. and so is your happiness.

The only problem with the way my mom explained the whole happiness/tragedy dynamic is the skewed interpretation I took from it. Tragedy often comes in waves where you get knocked down by everything crashing in your life one by one. But once you're experiencing the tragedy, you at least know that something is going to happen in your life that picks you back up. With the same logic though, when things are going good and you feel like you're floating on cloud 9, be sure that there will be something to knock you off that cloud and send you perpelling down to - at best - the real world - at worst - your own hell. Having said this, my mother instilled this strange thought process in me. It's as if every time something goes well I have to look over my shoulder trying to figure out what tragedy will befall me. And that SUCKS! Especially because tragedy isn't immediate after happiness. It could take months, years! But I can't fully enjoy really good things without a cynical spin, because the looming tragedy makes me feel uneasy. That is no way to live let me tell you!

I'm trying to instill a new thought process in myself though. Enjoy the good times. My dog Maximus, when he smells something in the grass that he really likes, he rolls all over it, trying to smother himself in the smell, coming home smelling like god knows what. But its a good example of how I think happiness should be embraced. Revel in it! Get down on all fours and roll around in it. If something bad is to come, you want to have enough happiness and mental fortitude to combat it!

Ok well, back to work :)