On second thought...
Realizing that Mo and I just weren't that into each other I started to think of my whole dating strategy. In college any guy I was really into turned out to be a jerk/asshole, etc. So I figured why not date someone who isn't "my type." That was cool for a little while but in the end, not being passionate about someone catches up with you to the point where you realize, maybe being friends is a better idea. But since my ego is the size of the old USSR (that thing was huge) its more prone to get nicks in it every now and again. Even though it made sense to break up, my ego got a little bruised.
At first I thought to myself that I wouldn't date again until I was sure I wanted to get married or something, since I clearly can't stand this break up nonsense. But I slept a lot (thank god for random vacations) and thought things through and then opened up my diary. My diary from college should be entitled "Diary of the Life of a Single Girl." I flipped through it and remembered all the guys I dated, and the fun I had just being single.. when you're single, at least for me, the possibilities of your happiness are limitless. Maybe that cute guy I met yesterday will be my future husband, and we'll live happily ever after! Or wait, that guy's hot, I'll go talk to him. Don't get me wrong, single life has its ups and downs but at least I'm up for the ride again.
So I guess my plan is to just entertain possibilities until I meet that "someone." And this time, that someone has to be someone I feel a connection with from the beginning. If its not going to work out with someone you have a connection with and not going to work out with someone you have no connection with.. why not live with the thrills of being extremely happy, if only momentarily?
No more dispassionate relationships for me.. unless I'm 30 and desparate ;)
At first I thought to myself that I wouldn't date again until I was sure I wanted to get married or something, since I clearly can't stand this break up nonsense. But I slept a lot (thank god for random vacations) and thought things through and then opened up my diary. My diary from college should be entitled "Diary of the Life of a Single Girl." I flipped through it and remembered all the guys I dated, and the fun I had just being single.. when you're single, at least for me, the possibilities of your happiness are limitless. Maybe that cute guy I met yesterday will be my future husband, and we'll live happily ever after! Or wait, that guy's hot, I'll go talk to him. Don't get me wrong, single life has its ups and downs but at least I'm up for the ride again.
So I guess my plan is to just entertain possibilities until I meet that "someone." And this time, that someone has to be someone I feel a connection with from the beginning. If its not going to work out with someone you have a connection with and not going to work out with someone you have no connection with.. why not live with the thrills of being extremely happy, if only momentarily?
No more dispassionate relationships for me.. unless I'm 30 and desparate ;)
posted by GyangBang | 11:22 AM
4 Comments:
Hey G, I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. It always hurts at first, no matter who it is. If it's any consolation, it sounded like he wasn't appreciating you like you deserved, and in my very personal opinion, it sounded like you were attached to him more out of habit than because he deserved it.
Hey, that sounds like the narrative of all relationships! At least from the woman's POV.
Did I just make you feel worse instead of better? I'm sorry if I did. Well, at least you made it at far as Valentine's Day :op
Yeah Rex.. its kind of annoying to realize that it was more a habit I was accustomed to than a "love of my life" situation.. Well whatever, I'm over it now :)
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As a serial dater, and subsequently a serial break-upper and break-upee, I can say there is really only one way to look at a break up that gets me over the whole bullshit.
Let it be said that break ups are rarely just one person's fault*. Maybe you (the universal you, not gyangster) should have been more sensitive about his Oedipal Complex, or maybe you shouldn't have been so critical of her dreams. Mistakes are mistakes - we can do our best to repair them. If the damage is permanent, we learn and move on.
But don't beat yourself up about it. Know that you are smart, good-looking, fun and funny. You are cool, caring, compassionate, and I bathe regularly. In conclusion, you are a great catch**. Anyone who doesn't know it can go piss up a rope, because a mate who doesn't acknowledge this is a waste of precious time.
I'm not saying I'm an expert - even after all this dating I am still a long long long way off from committing to something more permanent than "for now."
Live, learn, and feel good about you. That's all you can do.
*Does not apply to wackos who strangle pigeons or other weird type shit.
**Ibid
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