Weirdos Abound

Yesterday was a fairly normal day. I had a meeting with my boss in the morning, realized I still hadn't gone shopping for the suit I need for my advisory board meeting this weekend and went to the mall to pick something out. $580 later I headed back home to take maxie for a walk. Equipped with a book and a general bounce in my step I left the apartment, and headed to the park I always go to to let max roam free. After letting max off his leash I started reading my book. All of a sudden I looked up and max was running towards a bigger dog. I tried to call him back, but of course he does what he wants and approached the dog. Too bad the dog was attached to a strange owner.

Though I was clearly standing and READING this 5'5" 40 year old, balding, chubby man walks up to me and starts talking about crap.. I can't remember exactly what it was, b/c I don't remember crap. Anyway Max can be kind of annoying so I was wary about the way he was playing with the other dog. Sure enough the guy's dog got mad at Max, barked at him and tried to bite him. I was absolutely horrified! I grabbed max put him on his leash and tried to walk away. Buut NO! This stupid guy kept asking me stupid questions.. yeah I went to stanford, yeah got a degree in human biology, yes i want to be a doctor, alright well you have a good day.

I walked to the other side of the park and let max go free as soon as I thought the guy and his dog were leaving the park. But they didnt leave the park, instead the guy comes up to me. This time I'm sitting and READING. This does not deter him. He asks/tells me that I must have had a lot of boyfriends at stanford.. no not really sir. Am I attached now? Yes. Oh thats good, he says. Then he goes into this diatribe about how he has no luck with women. I tell him he should try online dating or church! He then explains his online dating escapades and then I tell him, well some women are superficial and some aren't. What I really wanted to say was, I do not find you remotely attractive. The thought of you touching me gives me the chills. Most women probably feel the same. But that's not to say that there isnt a woman out there that wouldnt be repulsed.. I've seen stranger things.. I decided to hold my tounge.

Finally I can't take it anymore and I say that I'm getting cold and put Max on his leash and begin leaving the park. The guy says something to the effect of "it was nice meeting you, what is your name?" I respond "yeah you too. Lisa" I used to tell men that my name was Lucy but there arent any black lucy's that i've ever run across so I thought Lisa was more believable. So just when I think its over the creep says that once its summer time I'm invited to come swim in his pool, then asks if I have a pool where I live. I tell him yes, and he's like oh, well you're still invited.

Then! Today this guy I kind of sort of hooked up with a couple of times at the end of senior year contacted me again. We didnt do much but cuddle, watch movies, make out, heavy petting, etc. but after we graduated he aimed me to tell me we should keep in touch. I'm like ha! whatever, ok. He's a pretty distinguished gentleman so at the time I had no problem doing so. And at first it was cute and flirtatious that he imed me every month or so to see what was up. But then it just got weird.. you know the kind of weird when men ask that all important question "what are you wearing." He contacted me once or twice while I was dating mo, but it was all in the beginning stages so we weren't tied to each other. I slightly entertained him and always made it short and sweet and signed off right after. All of a sudden he's back! It's like he has some kind of sense to know when I'm available or slightly available even. This time though I was through entertaining him for his sake and just kind of brushed him off.

I'm rediscovering my belief that men are just a source of endless entertainment. From the 40 year old guy to Mr. Aim I have an uncanny ability to attract weirdos who just become entertaining if put in the right perspetive. And these are just recent weirdos. I already mentioned the guy who wanted to take pictures of me. Then there was the guy that was in town for a little while and just had to stop me b/c I was so beautiful. Ugh, men, so full of it. But at least it makes me laugh :)