On second thought..
So I caught the first part of VH1s Fabulous Life of Celebrity Wives and it turns out I missed a HUGE piece of the puzzle. Not only do I have to be dumb, but I have to work a shitty job! Nicholas Cage's wife is some 19 year old asian girl that worked as a waitress when he met her. The pitcher from the Mets met his wife at the strip club. No she wasnt the coat check girl. She was stripping. Apparently he pulled her aside and told her she was "too good" to be doing what she was doing. Now she gets to bask in his million dollar fortune. AAAHHH God! Why oh why was I blessed with brains and not with looks so I could live off a rich husband!!!
Life is completely unfair :(
Life is completely unfair :(
posted by GyangBang | 8:23 PM
3 Comments:
You've got plenty of looks Els. I'm willing to bet there are tons of guys out there who would pull you aside if they saw your breasts swinging around a metal pole. Unfortunately, it seems the good Lord is on the side of us someday to be rich *has moral standards* husbands. If you really would want to loaf around off someone else's money, that may be why you've been made to *work* for money. What about the lucky stripper and little Asian girl? I'm willing to make another bet that they're incapable of enjoying half the things in life that you are, most of which require deep thought and reflection. One day when they're about to die, they'll look back and wonder...well, they won't wonder anything. They'll just die. Whereas you and I will look back on one *hell* of a life and say, "Damn, that was goooood!" I'd rather be you and me - yeah, we gotta work for it, but we have a lot of other things more precious than money. Smile!
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Well, Nicholas Cage is balding and the pitcher is probably kinda lardy (and a belly-itcher...ha!), as baseball players are wont to be. So you may be able to express their marriages by the following mathematical equation:
(-) men's sexual undesirability + money
=
women's sexual desirability + (-) dead weight on the economy
Remember, Nicholas Cage didn't start marrying waitresses until AFTER he lost some hair. This is not insignificant.
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