Acts of stupidity in spite of myself

Nevermind that I spent 10 minutes talking to Rex about how I was going to cut off all contact with my ex ASAP, because when I get drunk, my actions don't always match up with my words.

After going out with some friends in the city last night to celebrate one friend graduating a coterm program, at 3 AM I found myself hungry, really drunk, and sitting in the dark. I decided to warm up my half eaten burritto. Ok. Food, check. Now! What is the drunk Bang going to do? Oh thats right, chat up her Ex. "WAIT!" I said to myself. "You can't call him!" "Why not?" I questioned. "Because! Cut off contact! Remain in control. You need to detach from him sooner or later. Let it be sooner." "But its an innocent call," I replied.. to myself. "Well, if its just innocent.. NO! He'll think you need him and miss him." "But I do.. miss him that is." "So what! He doesn't have to know." "Yeah, but I mean I'm just going to chat, nothing heavy." "Alright, I'm too drunk to stop you anyway." And off I was calling my ex at 3 in the morning.. Lo and behold it rang twice and went straight to voicemail. I've had this happen before when calling my mother. It rings twice then goes straight to voicemail. If I don't leave a message, a lot of the times it doesnt even register as a call. "See Bang. Fate protected you. Now he won't know you called. You dont have to give up any control. Go to bed!"

This morning I woke up with a burning sensation in my stomach. I really shouldn't have asked for the spicy salsa in the burritto. Oh no! What did I do last night?? Ah crap, I called the ex - burning sensation increases.. I'm going to be sick. I go over in my head what the odds are of his phone not registering my call as a missed call. I sign on AIM and ask friends about their experiences with not getting people's calls. "Maybe he was on the phone when you called." "No," I said, "its highly unlikely he'd be on the phone at that hour." "Oh," my friend replied. "Well maybe he ignored the call." My anxiety goes up again. "You think he pushed ignore? Oh no, maybe he was with another.. ugh I'm going to bed." The concensus of both my friends was to chill the hell out and not worry about it.

But I could not let the craziness and anxiety subside. I had to get to the bottom of this (in a round about way of course). My ex and I have the same phone. I figured I'd call my phone and see what happens when you ignore the call. Ahhh Ok, if you purposely push the button it doesn't go straight to your voicemail message, it tells the person that you are busy. Ok, he didn't ignore my call on purpose. Phew. He probably didn't get the call then. Saved!

A few hours later.. the ex calls.. "Hey dude, whats up?" "So you called me yesterday?" "Oh right.. yeah sorry, two other people called me this morning saying that. I was really drunk and kept dialing the wrong number." "Oh." Awkward Silence. "I was wondering if you even got the call, sorry I hope I didn't interrupt anything." ACK! Why did I say that? I sound like I'm fishing for information! "No. I didn't even hear it. I was passed out." "Oh, well good to know I didn't wake you..." Ok time to cover up the stupid lie that can be easily unravelled. Time to talk about something else, throw dirt on the scent. "Hey what if I was in trouble!" "Yeah, at first I thought it might have been a booty call. But then I thought, oh no what if she's stranded in the city and needs a place to crash." "Ha, no, not a booty call, nor was I stranded. I was in my apt, warming up a burritto." Oh god, move on again, you're saying too much.. "What are you doing for father's day?" I asked. "I'm having dinner with my parents. You?" "Oh I don't talk to my dad much, so nothing." "You want my dad to call you?" "Haha, no thats OK, thanks though. Enjoy your day." "Talk to you later."

So Ok, something tells me that my ex either knew or quickly figured out that my "accidently calling the wrong number" story sounds a little fishy. Granted, there are about 3 other people in my phone with his name so its not a stretch... But the bigger lesson here - don't get wasted on a day where you talked about your ex for any extended amount of time b/c chances are you'll do stupid sh** when the alcohol starts talking..

I guess it could have been worse - I could have actually left a message :-O