Live for the unknown

I've gone through a phase in my life where I've been so obsessed about knowing what the future holds. Everyone tells you that you cannot know this ahead of time but I'd try to figure it out by whatever means possible (i.e. reading horoscopes, trying to see patterns and trying to predict outcomes). The obsession of wanting to know something before it happens can overwhelm a person.

But today.. today I just had a sense that maybe embracing the fact that my future is for the large part unknown and unknowable is a much better idea. Somehow now I am intrigued by future possibilities rather than scared. Its like quantum theory - the possibilities are endless until the time comes and I choose one course of action over the other. That is the only time when things are known for certain - once they happen, and not before; something obvious to most but not to me for the longest time.

Given the fact that there has been nothing major that has happened to me that I was able to predict with any impressive accuracy, it is clear to me now, after years of obsession, that it's time to stop trying to look into a crystal ball (figuratively that is.. I wasn't that crazy :) ) and start living with a more optimistic outlook.

If by unfortunate circumstance I step out of my apartment and get hit by a bus, well that would be funny wouldn't it? Tragic.. but funny nonetheless.

:)