The bigger person
My mom, rightfully so, is trying to make me a better person. Responses to my old roommate's email, like the one below in her mind is a big no-no. I sent the email without talking to her about it so she could filter out all the bad stuff and then my old roommate threatened to sue me. So I thought, maybe I should consult my mother to help keep me from smacking-a-bitch.
My whole debate with my mother centered on my idea that some people need to be told that they're being ridiculous and her idea that I have no right to tell anyone anything. "Are you her mother?," my mom would ask.
And here's the thing. I know the whole "who are you?" argument. One person, supposedly, is no better than another. Therefore, what right do I have to tell someone "like it is."
I get that part to a large extent. And as a matter of fact I felt like sending my old roommate the email I did the day before after having her ignore my request to help find someone. But then I realized, that such an email would solve nothing. So I didn't send it, only to have my inbox littered with her nonsense for the umpteenth time. The funny thing is all of her complaints were addressed in an earlier email that she neglected to read.
Sigh...
I guess in all of this I can only blame myself. Before I moved in all of my friends heard that I was moving in with her and said "You're moving in with WHO?" Point 2 - The reason she had to move was b/c her landlord was being "crazy" and wanted her out. I'M the biggest idiot in the world to not have taken that as a warning that no, the landlord isn't crazy, but the roommate is. Point 3 - If it took her 6 years to graduate from undergrad, she clearly isn't going to be on top of things... like finding an apartment. There were signs from the beginning that made me weary (e.g. when she didnt show up for an appointment I set up) but I kept thinking for the best.. silly, silly, me. Also, if she wasn't motivated to graduate, what motivation would she have to find a roommate?
I think a new motto should be started - Friends don't let friends live with potential crazy biatches.
Thanks to those who warned me :-/ I guess I had it coming.
My whole debate with my mother centered on my idea that some people need to be told that they're being ridiculous and her idea that I have no right to tell anyone anything. "Are you her mother?," my mom would ask.
And here's the thing. I know the whole "who are you?" argument. One person, supposedly, is no better than another. Therefore, what right do I have to tell someone "like it is."
I get that part to a large extent. And as a matter of fact I felt like sending my old roommate the email I did the day before after having her ignore my request to help find someone. But then I realized, that such an email would solve nothing. So I didn't send it, only to have my inbox littered with her nonsense for the umpteenth time. The funny thing is all of her complaints were addressed in an earlier email that she neglected to read.
Sigh...
I guess in all of this I can only blame myself. Before I moved in all of my friends heard that I was moving in with her and said "You're moving in with WHO?" Point 2 - The reason she had to move was b/c her landlord was being "crazy" and wanted her out. I'M the biggest idiot in the world to not have taken that as a warning that no, the landlord isn't crazy, but the roommate is. Point 3 - If it took her 6 years to graduate from undergrad, she clearly isn't going to be on top of things... like finding an apartment. There were signs from the beginning that made me weary (e.g. when she didnt show up for an appointment I set up) but I kept thinking for the best.. silly, silly, me. Also, if she wasn't motivated to graduate, what motivation would she have to find a roommate?
I think a new motto should be started - Friends don't let friends live with potential crazy biatches.
Thanks to those who warned me :-/ I guess I had it coming.
posted by GyangBang | 6:50 PM
2 Comments:
Jesus. Sorry you have to go through this. I had a feeling she would be trouble.
I kind of figured this would happen too. OK OK, that's a lie. I don't know whom you were rooming with (though I'd love to get the story some time...maybe when I come visit next summer?) Seriously, I am also sorry you had such a rough time.
And where do you get the idea that one person is no better than another? That's poppycock. I think humans more than any other animal fit nicely into hierarchical existence. People are such complex beings - there are so many subtleties that can place someone above someone else. I think it's perfectly reasonable to assume another person is below us, especially after getting to know them for a while and really discovering their flaws. The danger is in not being objective about it and thinking we're always right. But either way the hierarchy still exists. And I'm at the top of it. (Kidding! Kidding!)
:-)
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