You should always wear matching underwear
I read in a book once, "You should always wear matching underwear b/c you never know when you'll be invited to go hot tubbing." Its sooo true! And of course, when the moment came, I was not wearing matching underwear, BUT had the opportunity to quickly run back to my apt and change.. lesson learned...
I've also learned another life lesson. I talk a lot of shit about what I think I want in life and later find.. I have no idea what I'm talking about. I mean I'm not the only one, I'd say 99% of people in their 20s suffer from the same problem. We can't help it. We have these over developed brains, exposed to lots of different people and ideas, and swear we know which ones are right, wrong, and whats the best for ourselves. But really, the best way to know whether or not you want something/believe in it, is to test yourself and your circumstances.
Case in point, just the other night I told a friend that I wanted to be proposed to 3 times in my life. The first is going to be a fluke. I'll get engaged but will realize that I have a whole lifetime ahead of me and don't really want to be tied to one option for the rest of my life. So mostly, the first time is just to make sure that I can actually get a proposal. The second time is the real deal. I will marry the love of my life and we will live happily ever after.. or so I'll think. But like most of America we'll get divorced in our late 40s. It will be as amicable as possible and our two kids will be in college or almost in college so the emotional rollercoaster will be minimized by their distance and occupation with their studies. The third time.. ahh.. the third time, will be to a guy I know now who is such a commitment-phobe he may never get married, but by the time he's in his late 40s he will be worth a ton of money - He's potential #5. He will have traveled everywhere, done everything, and finally be ready to settle down. And since I've always felt we've clicked on a deeper level than I've clicked with anyone before, we'll run into each other again and it'll seem like we never skipped a beat. He'll buy me the most expensive things and we'll go on extravagent trips and reminisce about our college experience, our lives since then, and how nice it is to have the kids out of the house. :) Now my goal to be proposed to the first time would entail me dating guys in an older age range looking to settle down. My plan was going to be perfect. But lo and behold, the opportunity has come and OF COURSE i'm like wait, I dont want to do this shit, I'm too young to be dating men older than 28.. but alas...
Potential #6/Mr. I'd have to stop wearing heels!
I'm not particularly obsessed with wearing heels. As a matter of fact, i'd rather wear comfortable shoes everyday.. but apparently thats not always sexy.. or even appropriate (i.e. business meetings). BUT I do like the option of wearing heels and Mr. IHSWH is plain too short. I was at a house party last night and I saw him and potential #7 walk into the door. I sorta thought potential #7 was cute but then changed my mind and went about my business. Out of the blue Mr. IHSWH comes up to me, looks down, and says, "Nice shoes." This wasn't followed by the classic line "wanna fuck?" so i continued to talk to him. I love how when a guy talks to me I never think he's doing it b/c he's interested. I always think they're "being nice" or they're "bored." Note to self: Stop being so clueless! Anyway.. So yeah, turns out potential #6 is in some biophysics grad program at stanford, jewish, went to undergrad at another institution, and in general seems like a really nice guy. The two glaring problems? A.) Too short.. I think we're the same height, or maybe he's an inch taller. B.) He's 31!!! Ack! No! Well I wasn't thinking any of these things at the time b/c like I said I thought he was just being nice..
Potential #7/Mr. ???
So I dont know if Mr. ??? really counts since i sensed some weird sexual tension between him and another friend who works with him at stanford but... he and mr. IHSWH are friends. After talking to Mr. IHSWH for a little bit, mr. ??? walks up and we pretty much have a 3 way conversation for the rest of the night (how sexy..not really) I mean I guess he could have been standing around just to talk.. or maybe they're both masochists, b/c our conversation mostly consisted of them revealing something about themselves and me completely bashing them. For example: "I'm jewish" Me: Make face Guy: "Whats the face for?" Me: "Nothing."/ Guy: "I love phyics." Me: "Ick! You're such a nerd!" Guy: "No i'm not." Me:"Oh yes you are hun." But they were both jewish so I think my attitude was entertaining since according to them "Jewish girls have such attitude. And then they become nice. They're doing it all wrong! See they should be like asian women who are really nice at first. And then you marry them and they become so bitchy! But see, at least they've trapped you.." Really now... (Note to self: There is apparently a sign on my forhead that reads "I LOVE JEWS." Find a way to scrub this sign off, along with the sign that screams "I WANT SEX...with YOU" Its just bad advertising) Anyway... So yeah one or the other of them invited me to go hot tubbing at stanford west. I thought sure what the hell.. this isnt going to get sketchy. So I, along with another friend, and the two guys went off to go hot tubbing.. And b/c they're both in some physicsy/bio-y thing (i really dont remember now) it didnt get sketch. I thought I was home free until it was time to go home and Mr. IHSWH offered to drive me back. We talked about random stuff and when he pulled up to my apartment complex I remembered that I had left my car double parked! I yelled out and thanked him for the ride and quickly jumped out of the car hoping to avoid the whole awkwardness in case he actually wanted to ask me out. NOPE! I wasn't going to be let off the hook that easily. As soon as I jumped out of the car Mr. IHSWH hops out of the door, slams it, and stops me and asks if its alright if he can call me. (NOOOOOO! This is the worst combination a really nice guy BUT too short and much older than I want) Muh. "Sure!" I say. He then runs down a schedule about how he'll be out of town blah blah (I start tuning him out) "But yeah, so I'll give you a call" is the last thing I hear him say. I turn around and yell "Shit!" But this time its not in my head, I actually said it aloud. OOPS! I then start yelling about my car as to make it seem that I'm disturbed that I left my car double parked for a few hours.. um.. yeah.. such is life.. I'm just a shiksa in a jew world...
I've also learned another life lesson. I talk a lot of shit about what I think I want in life and later find.. I have no idea what I'm talking about. I mean I'm not the only one, I'd say 99% of people in their 20s suffer from the same problem. We can't help it. We have these over developed brains, exposed to lots of different people and ideas, and swear we know which ones are right, wrong, and whats the best for ourselves. But really, the best way to know whether or not you want something/believe in it, is to test yourself and your circumstances.
Case in point, just the other night I told a friend that I wanted to be proposed to 3 times in my life. The first is going to be a fluke. I'll get engaged but will realize that I have a whole lifetime ahead of me and don't really want to be tied to one option for the rest of my life. So mostly, the first time is just to make sure that I can actually get a proposal. The second time is the real deal. I will marry the love of my life and we will live happily ever after.. or so I'll think. But like most of America we'll get divorced in our late 40s. It will be as amicable as possible and our two kids will be in college or almost in college so the emotional rollercoaster will be minimized by their distance and occupation with their studies. The third time.. ahh.. the third time, will be to a guy I know now who is such a commitment-phobe he may never get married, but by the time he's in his late 40s he will be worth a ton of money - He's potential #5. He will have traveled everywhere, done everything, and finally be ready to settle down. And since I've always felt we've clicked on a deeper level than I've clicked with anyone before, we'll run into each other again and it'll seem like we never skipped a beat. He'll buy me the most expensive things and we'll go on extravagent trips and reminisce about our college experience, our lives since then, and how nice it is to have the kids out of the house. :) Now my goal to be proposed to the first time would entail me dating guys in an older age range looking to settle down. My plan was going to be perfect. But lo and behold, the opportunity has come and OF COURSE i'm like wait, I dont want to do this shit, I'm too young to be dating men older than 28.. but alas...
Potential #6/Mr. I'd have to stop wearing heels!
I'm not particularly obsessed with wearing heels. As a matter of fact, i'd rather wear comfortable shoes everyday.. but apparently thats not always sexy.. or even appropriate (i.e. business meetings). BUT I do like the option of wearing heels and Mr. IHSWH is plain too short. I was at a house party last night and I saw him and potential #7 walk into the door. I sorta thought potential #7 was cute but then changed my mind and went about my business. Out of the blue Mr. IHSWH comes up to me, looks down, and says, "Nice shoes." This wasn't followed by the classic line "wanna fuck?" so i continued to talk to him. I love how when a guy talks to me I never think he's doing it b/c he's interested. I always think they're "being nice" or they're "bored." Note to self: Stop being so clueless! Anyway.. So yeah, turns out potential #6 is in some biophysics grad program at stanford, jewish, went to undergrad at another institution, and in general seems like a really nice guy. The two glaring problems? A.) Too short.. I think we're the same height, or maybe he's an inch taller. B.) He's 31!!! Ack! No! Well I wasn't thinking any of these things at the time b/c like I said I thought he was just being nice..
Potential #7/Mr. ???
So I dont know if Mr. ??? really counts since i sensed some weird sexual tension between him and another friend who works with him at stanford but... he and mr. IHSWH are friends. After talking to Mr. IHSWH for a little bit, mr. ??? walks up and we pretty much have a 3 way conversation for the rest of the night (how sexy..not really) I mean I guess he could have been standing around just to talk.. or maybe they're both masochists, b/c our conversation mostly consisted of them revealing something about themselves and me completely bashing them. For example: "I'm jewish" Me: Make face Guy: "Whats the face for?" Me: "Nothing."/ Guy: "I love phyics." Me: "Ick! You're such a nerd!" Guy: "No i'm not." Me:"Oh yes you are hun." But they were both jewish so I think my attitude was entertaining since according to them "Jewish girls have such attitude. And then they become nice. They're doing it all wrong! See they should be like asian women who are really nice at first. And then you marry them and they become so bitchy! But see, at least they've trapped you.." Really now... (Note to self: There is apparently a sign on my forhead that reads "I LOVE JEWS." Find a way to scrub this sign off, along with the sign that screams "I WANT SEX...with YOU" Its just bad advertising) Anyway... So yeah one or the other of them invited me to go hot tubbing at stanford west. I thought sure what the hell.. this isnt going to get sketchy. So I, along with another friend, and the two guys went off to go hot tubbing.. And b/c they're both in some physicsy/bio-y thing (i really dont remember now) it didnt get sketch. I thought I was home free until it was time to go home and Mr. IHSWH offered to drive me back. We talked about random stuff and when he pulled up to my apartment complex I remembered that I had left my car double parked! I yelled out and thanked him for the ride and quickly jumped out of the car hoping to avoid the whole awkwardness in case he actually wanted to ask me out. NOPE! I wasn't going to be let off the hook that easily. As soon as I jumped out of the car Mr. IHSWH hops out of the door, slams it, and stops me and asks if its alright if he can call me. (NOOOOOO! This is the worst combination a really nice guy BUT too short and much older than I want) Muh. "Sure!" I say. He then runs down a schedule about how he'll be out of town blah blah (I start tuning him out) "But yeah, so I'll give you a call" is the last thing I hear him say. I turn around and yell "Shit!" But this time its not in my head, I actually said it aloud. OOPS! I then start yelling about my car as to make it seem that I'm disturbed that I left my car double parked for a few hours.. um.. yeah.. such is life.. I'm just a shiksa in a jew world...
posted by GyangBang | 12:53 PM
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