The Sales Pitch

So I've been trying to figure out a way to explain to Mr. Protege why his approach in dating simply does not work. I don't want to be harsh, but I want him to get it. So I finally came up with the perfect analogy, one that all guys should be able to comprehend... bear with me.. it might turn out bad.. but I'm going to try anyway.

So, say you've been thinking of buying a car recently. You haven't really thought it through, but you have a feeling that you'd be happier with a new car of some sort. Say you walk by a dealership one day and linger a while, merely checking out what's currently on the market. All of a sudden, a salesman notices your behavior and accosts you, telling you that if you're looking for a car, they've got something great just for you coming in soon. You think about it and then exchange numbers. Hey, what can it hurt?

A few days/weeks later, you get a phone call from the salesman telling you that they've just received a new car in stock. He describes the features and tell you that if you're interested you should come on down and check it out. You think about it for a while and you still haven't made up your mind. So you don't call the salesman back any time soon, figuring that hey, if you change your mind you can always give them a ring. Until then, you'll continue with your own business. A few days/weeks later the salesman calls again. This time he throws in some sort of incentive (free dinner :) ) and so you decide, what the hell, you'll go look at the car.

So you get to the dealership and the salesman is all smiles and greets you warmly. So you look at the car, test drive it, etc.. Well you're still feeling unsure for an array of reasons. Maybe you haven't gotten to see what else is out there yet, or if you can get a better deal. The salesman senses your wavering attitude and starts to pull out the stops. With the increasing intensity, you get slightly uneasy. You tell the salesman that you do in fact like the car, but you haven't made your mind up yet. By the time you're ready to leave, you can't. The salesman corners you and gets in your face and keeps saying "buy my car! buy my car! come on buy my car! why dont you want to buy it?? Its a great car. You won't find anything like it anywhere. BUY MY CAR!"

Ok now you've decided that the salesman is a lunatic. Not only that, you start to question the salesman's motives. WHY on earth are they trying to sell you this car so quickly and pushing the sale so hard? Are they so desparate to sell a car b/c they haven't sold one in months and risk losing their job if they don't land this deal? Or are they always this pushy because everyone else who has showed interest in the car ultimately didn't have the means to purchase it. And now that they've found someone with the means they want to get rid of it as soon as possible? Or is he just a friggin psycho and treats all customers this way?


Haha.. or at least this is what I feel happens when someone tries to push their feelings on you too much too soon. Do they really like you that much? Are they desperate? Or are they just craaaazy?

You may never know since by the end of their tirade you've probably bolted for the door when they weren't looking. ;-)

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger

As a kid, I mistakenly thought this phrase referred to edible things. "If you eat it and you don't die, it fortifies your immune system and makes you stronger." Ha.. silly kids..

As I gain more life experience though, I realize the validity of the statement and how profound it actually is. The most fascinating people I've ever met, the people that seem to be in on a secret about life that the rest of humanity is desperately trying to figure out, are the people that have experienced tragedy and have been able to rise above it. Not only that, but they are some of the most selfless people I know. In trying to figure out what the correlation is between experienced hardship and selflessness, I figure that a lot of it has to do with the perception of the world you form as you mature. People with shitty childhoods for instance realize early on that mere existence does not guarantee happiness. Happiness isn't thrown down in front of you for you to indulge. Instead, happiness is something you must choose to create. What's the most effective/efficient way of creating happiness? Making others happy. This manifests in different ways - you become more empathetic and want to help others, you want to make family members happy so you take on extra burden, you try to make something of yourself so that you can contribute something positive to a situation.

The older you get, the more venues to creating happiness open. Not only can you help family but you can help strangers too. And really good friends are as good as family to you, consequently you'll go out of your way to make them happy when you can. Realizing this, I almost cringe when I think of how a lot of Americans are these days. So selfish, so individualistic.. soo.. useless. It makes me want to start a nationwide campaign "Why do you matter?" where every individual American is questioned about why they think they exist, and what the purpose of their life is. No wonder foreigners hate Americans. Don't get me wrong, they love America - the land of opportunity. They hate Americans - people who feel entitled to everything life has to offer despite their poor contribution to the betterment of anything.

Moreover, I realize why some people hate religion. Religion gives believers a false sense of being a "good" person. But a lot of religious people are good by association. Just b/c so and so "said" some good things and did some good things doesn't mean you too are a good person. Its almost a false sense of identity. You are not a good person unless you do good, period. And the likelihood of you doing good is based on whether or not you want to do good. Studies in psychology show that people are more likely to do something if intrinsically motivated rather than if they are extrinsically motivated. You ain't gonna "respect thy neighbor" or abstain from "coveting someone else's wife" unless you truly want to.

I also think that these days culture itself is a sort of religion - giving people a false sense of how good of a person they are. Harping back to Americans as an example, I don't think we realize how completely selfish we can be. But because everyone around us is a barometer for our selfishness, if we can find one person who we deem to be worse than us in some way, we're ok with ourselves. But that's as retarded as Jessica Simpson claiming not to be a coke head because Lindsay Lohan does way more coke than she does.. whichever way you slice it, you still do coke Jess.

I once heard a joke about how in the future Americans will be dying to get visas to India and beg to become Indian citizens. Why? B/c it seems that a lot of developing countries have what America doesn't have - real sense of tragedy. No it's not tragic that you got dumped yesterday. It is tragic that a tsunami came an took your livelihood away, that terrorist bombers were successful in yet another mission. And it is experiencing this tragedy that makes citizens of developing countries want to do better for themselves so they can do better for others. And slowly but surely, before anyone knows it, they possess so much intellectual and brute power that they become a force in their own right. Now I understand why great powers never stay great, there is always a collapse or a new super power.. eventually. It's b/c the country stopped struggling, with power and peace came complacency.. and while people of the superpower nation were lounging around, struggling nations became stronger.. hm..

But I digress.. I guess in all of this I'm recognizing that hey, life sucks, and it sucks even harder for some. But for those who haven't had it easy, there is some solace to be taken in the fact that b/c of your struggle, you'll become a much stronger person, a person who can help the weaker individuals.. in a way its like being a martyr (sorta). You had to go through a shitty life to realize that helping others in any way you could was 1000 times better than being selfish, consequently you then stand as an example for others to follow.. keeping the world from peril.. sorta :)

You're Damn Right!

In my "no lifeness" i.e. studying and working.. practically all the time, unless i'm sleeping or watching tv, I've decided to be even more impossible to please. Until I'm 24.. otherwise I think relationships are a waste of time.. unless you have nothing better to do, in which case, who doesn't want a bit of entertainment? But I got this in an email and laughed pretty hard.
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Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return.

A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find husbands...First floor The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids."!The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went.

Second floor The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?"Third floor This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." "Wow," said the women,"Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went.

Fourth floor This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak." "Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on! So up to the fifth floor they went.

Fifth floor The sign on that door said,"This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are f**king impossible to please. The exit is to your left, we hope you fall down the stairs."

LOL! :)