My fears

If you've been in earshot of me in the following week, you could probably deduce that right now my greatest fear is dying in a plane crash.. It doesn't help that I'm getting on a 15 hour flight in less than a week.. which I guess is what prompted the fear in the first place. But while after 9/11 I have feared horrible plane mishaps, this time the fear has been more intense.. to the point that I keep talking about it! (Blog subject case in point)

But I think I'm finally realizing why I'm so afraid. My fear is stemming from my position in life right now and my view of the future. Usually in my life there is something seriously lacking. Either I'm on the verge of being broke, or I'm struggling to keep up with my workload, or people in my family are fighting, or my love life sucks... but now, none of that is happening. I'm almost done with my first year of med school, my bf treats me like gold, I'm getting to visit my mom for a week in Europe, and when I get back I'll actually be doing research on a patient population I have always dreamed of working with.

So right now I fear that everything is too good to be true and that it can all be snatched away from me in the blink of an eye. Its like my mother says - When things are bad, be happy that things can't get worse, and good things are around the corner. When things are good, honey, be afraid, because things will get bad soon. And thats part of life.

Lol. There has to be a happy medium.. but I'm having no luck finding it right now :-/