Refugee Camp

Once I told my friend that I might return a pair of jeans because I thought they made me look fat. Her response? "You can't look fat in anything. You eat like a refugee."

Today I ate 8 pieces of toast with butter and strawberry jam and two pieces of pineapple.

I'm glad she said I ate like a refugee and not that I was anorexic. Because, truthfully, I'm not. I am just that lazy. I'm too lazy to cook and too lazy to drive out of my way for food or even walk down my block where there are a few fast food restaraunts. My stomach's not growling so I think I'm set for the day anyway.

I Won!

So a lot of the time when I dish out dating advice, it more or less revolves around playing some game. Truth and open honesty are not my forte. Moreover, I just dont think its much fun to start a relationship that way. The funny thing is that I do know the pitfalls of playing games with another person. Usually you just play them until you both give up and walk away. Or you stop playing them and mutually concede. But not this time baby. This time I WON, HANDS DOWN!

Tonight I was sitting at my computer surfing the internet, taking a break from studying, but who should call but my current suitor, Mr. Protege. For the past two months I've been nothing less than confused by him. First off, from the beginning he made it "clear" that he was pursuing a "friendship." I mean common sense should have told me that men don't hit on girls at a bar just to become friends with them. But little, stupid, naive me thought, hm, maybe he does just want to be friends. I mean he didnt try to stick his hand up my skirt... Not to mention, when he'd call he never really tried to set up a "date." More like, hey if you're going to be in the city, maybe we should meet up. We tried to meet up for (quite literally) months, but b/c we both refused to chase the other one around, we just never met up. Until finally I capitulated and went to the place he was at. (Of course I made up a really good excuse for even being in the area)

I was glad that I gave in, b/c the rest of the night he followed me around like a puppy. And by the end of the night he asked if we could hang out the following day. He called 30 minutes after leaving to make sure we were still hanging out. He called the following morning to further confirm plans. And then finally, we hung out. Good times. Then he called that night just to shoot the breeze. He said he'd call "later in the week" so I just waited... and waited..

Fast forward to Friday. Like I said before he called around 9. Then he called again at 3am (no it wasn't a booty call, we live practically an hour away). Then he called Saturday morning at 11. Talked about some more of nothing. By the end of the convo, again he didnt ask for a date or anything. I called a friend who claimed him to be a "stalker" and asked her what she thought. She wisely suggested that he might have wanted to hang out on Saturday but since I told him I had class, didnt say anything. Aha.. now it makes sense why he kept saying "I wonder what I'm going to do today. I usually have errands and stuff to run on Saturdays but I dont really have any today. Hm, what am I going to do." I didn't pick this up until much later.. duh..

Anyway afterwards I figured, if he's that shy or insecure about asking me out again I'll just hand him a date on a silver platter. I text him saying that if he wanted to distract me from studying he should feel free. A text message convo later, I'm still confused, and finally realize, yup, he's inept. And this whole time I just thought he was a player with a lot of different women, with hardly any ability to keep up with who he talked to and when. But no.. for whatever reason he was too insecure to be upfront with me.. And lets face it, who really forgets if they've called someone? Even if you did forget, with a cell phone its quite easy to check your recent calls log, which also conveniently tells you when last you called someone..

Then tonight he calls. I dont get reception in my room so I get up to move to a place where I do get reception but I had already missed the call. I call him back but I can't really hear him b/c he's at some party. Finally he asks if its ok if he calls me tomorrow. He asks me this three times and I say yes each time. He tells me to listen to the voice message he just left. I do. And quote "Could you just call somebody? I mean, I don't think I've put this much effort into anyone, ever. It's kind of a turn on, actually. Oh wait there you are. I hope you listen to this message later."

And can I just point out the merits of alcohol. The truth just comes spilling out doesn't it?

Ahh, I'll continue to bask in this victory until another challenge comes along. Well I actually like this guy. So for all of you who think I'm going to just use this advantage to jerk him around, you're wrong.. sorta :)

I think I finally understand why men love playing the game. It's because they usually always win! And winning my friends.. there's nothing better :)

I Attract Normal Guys!

I took this quiz "What Kind of guy do you attract" today and the result was:

"You Attract Normal Guys!Not that "normal" is a bad thing... you just prefer not to get your heart broken.You've probably dated enough losers in your life, learned from it, and become an ultra cool chick.And it's this togetherness that attracts the right kind of guy.Healthy guys aren't afraid of intimacy or commitment.They'll call you after a first date, but they won't want to move in after one week.Normal guys can solve their own problems - and will help you solve yours.To keep things blissful with your normal guy (or to get the right one), it's easy.Continue to be the super incredible chick that you are, no emotional baggage or issues.Normal, incredible guys love girls like you."

I guess the guys after college have been a tad less "ass-holey." Anway, Wanna know what kind of guy you attract?

http://www.quizdiva.com/guyattractquiz.html
(Ignore the porn stuff on the sidebars :) )

Something's Gotta Give

Most of you probably haven't watched this movie. Why? B/c its about old people. Somehow, despite my (admittedly irrational) fear of the elderly, I absolutely love this movie. Why? It's one of those movies that gives good advice about the fundamentals of being human, thats why.

I'm really not interested in giving a synapsis of the movie, as you can find that through google or some other search engine, but Diane Keaton plays a mother that gives advice to her daughter that I wish my mom gave me. Diane Keaton's daughter, Amanda Peet, lives her life dating defensively. She makes sure she doesnt get too close to anyone b/c they might make her become "unglued" (i.e. a mess). But being a wise mother Keaton begs her daughter to start "living life," in the same vein as "it is better to have loved than never to have loved at all."

I guess for the most part I'm more of a defensive dater for the the same reasons. Who wants their life to be totally ruined by the disappointments that come with love? Who wants to be that emotional. I thought to myself though, my best drafts of my personal statement for med school were written when I was extremely emotional. Tears streaming down my face and feeling what I wrote, my words were eloquent, heartfelt, and a perfect representation of exactly how I felt. Its funny that there is a scene in the movie where Keaton finally writes a broadway play after being romantically devastated. She sits at her (apple) laptop and cries and cries and cries and writes and writes and writes. For a few seconds she even laughs.. then cries again. And in the end, she has a success on her hands. Why? b/c she felt it. Her words weren't some vapid depiction of what she "thought" love should be or was like.

So in the end, trying to be the stoic, "nothing hurts me" kind of person isn't always the best attitude. Eventually, something's gotta give, and you have to get in touch with your feelings. I mean, no need to be crying at McDonalds commercials ;) ... but sometimes its great to just let it all out. How amazing is it to let yourself feel happier than you've ever felt before just because you're alive. And how cathartic is it to just cry it all out?

Shutting out emotions is like ignoring certain colors of beautiful palatte.. Sure in the end you might have a pretty cool picture, but how much more vibrant would the picture have been if you allowed yourself to use all the colors available?

Ok, I'm done being sappy. This full moon is really getting to me! :)

I'm a tad confused about this whole calling thing..

So after a ridiculously fun weekend last week, with a guy that my friends have dubbed my "stalker," stalker or no stalker I was on cloud 9. I mean how often do you meet a guy that's willing to just have fun sans attempting to immediatly get into your pants. The weekend ended with him calling, chatting about who remembers what, and having him say "I'll call you later in the week."

The week goes by, no call. I already leaped off of cloud 9 by Tuesday, realizing that as much as I might like the guy, men can be fickle fickle creatures. Fast foward to Friday still no call.. at this point I give up for good... I'm used to it, no big deal. 9:21 PM Friday night he calls. I don't pick up. The message? Blah blah blah something about how I don't call him enough.. I should call him back.

And here's where I'm confused. If you tell someone you're going to call them, why do you expect them to call you? Furthermore, you're pretty much saying that you didnt call, expecting me to miss you so much that I'd call. Hm.. Well I should probably tell him that he should take a number.

A.) I hardly initiate calls to friends I've known for forever. It probably has to do with the fact that my mother always hated when I called my friends or always wanted to visit them b/c she didn't want me to be a "burden" to their family (running up phone bills, eating all their food, etc). I think she was raising me to be a loner. Good job mom. Consequently, I have no real urge to get in contact with people most of the time.

B.) Oh I know this game. Its all fine and dandy when you dont call guys, and then they complain that you dont care. So you think hm, ok, I'll call, it seems harmless. Then all of a sudden they feel "smothered." B/c I called you once? One friend advised me to never initiate contact with a guy in the beginning, and only when in an established relationship. I guess everyone's different though. Some are needier than others etc.. and

C.) If we're going to play the game of holding out, I'm always going to win. I am suprisingly good at pretending I don't care for loooong periods of time, long enough until I actually don't care.

And that's that..

What's in my bed?

If you guessed "a hot guy" you'd be wrong. Instead I have a dell laptop, a dell mouse, 3 kaplan mcat books, 3 magazines, 2 fiction books, a highlighter, 2 pencils, two organic chem textbooks, one binder, one folder full of documents for work, a makeup bag, a medium sized handbag, a portable cd player, some coupons stolen from some stanford guide, a remote control, a blazer, a sweatshirt, a baseball cap, 6 pillows, and.. an empty package of swedish fish.. Pushed out of bed by my own laziness and inability to organize anything... isnt life wonderful :-/

Men Advertise, Women Flirt

Even though its already established that "Dr." John Gray is a phony, I must say that there are some gems in his work on the dating behaviors of men and women. He has a chapter called "Men Advertise, Women Flirt." I never really read it until I noticed a strange male behavior.

Ever been in a situation where a guy is relentlessly hitting on you and instead of asking you much about yourself, you know as to actually engage you in conversation, the guy just talks and talks and talks ad naseum about himself. "And then I went on this beautiful hiking trip in the himilayas and had a soul awakening experience, and thought my god, everyone should do this. I mean I I I I I I I I.." Usually the woman's left staring either into space or into the guy's mouth wondering if those are really his teeth or if they're caps.

After reading this chapter of the book though, in understanding the reason for this retarded behavior, I now accept the retardedness of it. As providers men advertise how much they can provide in an attempt to woo a women. The whole point of dates right? Let me take you to this place and purchase expensive food for you so you can see how much and how well I can provide for you and our future offspring... something like that. Let me tell you about my impeccable character. Let me demonstrate how funny I am. Are you chilly? Let me warm you with the heat emanating from my bosom. Oh you don't want me to touch you? Here is my coat. Now will you agree to produce my offspring?

So in conclusion, if a guy's babbling on about himself he's either A.) Just an annoying, egotistical, prick or B.) its a good sign that he likes you and wants you to know how good he can be to you and your nonexistent offspring.

Things that make you go hmm...

Ok so after hanging out with guy two days in a row, I will say that I was quite smitten (keyword was). After walking out of the haze though, I realize that he is A.) still practically a stranger and B.) even worse than a regular guy, he's a guy trying to get into my pants! which means C.) he has more reason to be deceptive. So in an effort to keep myself from "falling hard fast" I will list reasons why I should keep my guard up regarding this guy's character, unless I am proven wrong in the future.

Reasons I'm weary

1.) After knowning him for about half an hour I asked his name. At first he responded "Tom" and in the same breath gave his real name. I asked him why he gave a fake name at first to which he responded with some line about "what's the point in getting to know someone if you're never going to talk to them again." Um.. ok

2.) The farthest ahead he plans anything is a day in advance... if that.

3.) I just realized that the first time I met him there was some girl who said something to him and left. It didnt bother me but he thought he should explain that the girl was "his best friend" and how he had originally persued her romantically but found out "she had nothing going for her" and she had only graduated high school, so now they're best friends. Ok.. whatever. But again the second time I hung out with him, some other girl walks up and tells him that she's leaving. I don't even think he acknowledged her. He at least didnt give another strange explaination.

4.) There was the infamous voice message.. "I can't remember if I called you earlier today..."

5.) He claims (mind you I didnt ask in the first place) that two girls listed as friends on his profile are from high school. I realized though as I was aimlessly surfing the internet ( i really wasnt trying to check up on him.. i was just curious) that one of the girls lists her age as 19. If he's 25 there is no way she's a high school friend. Unless he's added friends since the last time I checked (I only checked once I swear) then thats some horse shit.

Although I myself made up an elaborate unsolicited lie about why I was in the city on saturday... but I know I'm normal and not a weirdo.. anyway


Reasons my friends are weary

1.) His behavior is slightly stalkerish aka he looked me up on some random site (would a real stalker admit to this)

2.) He was ridiculously persistent as he's been calling for the past two months before we ever met up (Doesn't slow and steady win the race? Although I have to wonder too)

3.) He calls excessively at times. Yesterday he must have called at least 8 times (3 of these were to clarify directions. But in his defense, he doesn't do this all the time)

4.) He hasn't tried to kiss me.. he must be gay. (Umm.. yeah)


I think what most people should glean from this blog entry is.. Don't mess with a scorpio! We're natural detectives. Don't date one unless you want your life deconstructed, picked apart, and then thrown back in your face... :)

Why I Hate first "sober" dates..

Its all fun and good when the music is thumping, you're slightly intoxicated (of the alcohol variety), and so is your date. You both decide that you must really meet up sometime in the future and go "do something." And then you do. But sober..

I just went on a date with a guy who I hung out with yesterday. Yesterday at a bar while under the influence of sweet libations and the pulsing rythmes around us, I was in love. Today we went to starbucks and chatted. And now I think, well he's cool. He sure does talk a lot. Animated.. a little too animated. Cute.. hm, I wonder if he uses gel products, I dont like when guys use too much gel. The kicker is the guy's probably going through the exact same thought processes! Not to mention I was practically sweating the whole time since it was so damn hot outside! On a plus note I got to ride around in DPA in a corvette with good company. I would have gotten dinner too, but of course I wasn't hungry..

And what doesnt help is the way the date ends. My last ex, after telling him I was going home becauase I missed my dog, gave me a hug and said "it was nice to see you again." I thought it was going to be over at that point...

This time I get a hug and an "I'll call you." A statement that is always completely void of any real meaning. And so you're left wondering, will this person call? Will I be devastated if they don't? Did he change his mind? Does he not find me a fun person to hang around when we're both sober? What's going on?? Will Michael Jackson be convicted????

So yeah.. boo to sober first dates.. we should all just get wasted and go dance.. I think that's a solid foundation for a long lasting relationship. Dont you? :)

New American Dream

I was talking to my mother the other day about the possibility of selling our (as if i helped buy it.. i mean her) house and making a relocation.. it's been a long time coming. She told me about the prices of houses in every city and how the seller's market is just getting out of hand. She explained how the sellers market is working these days. People that have been living in their homes for about 10-20 years have either paid up their mortgage or are mostly done paying. After such an investment no one is willing to sell their house for less than they bought it for and due to changing economy etc., are more likely to sell the house at a much higher price than they bought it for. The only people selling at reasonable prices are those who bought a house, lived there for only 5 years or less and must relocate for some reason. This is very simplistic I know..

I thought to myself wow, with the increase in housing prices, has the American dream changed? Decades before our time it was all about the image of the immigrant rising up through hard work and education to make enough money to live comfortably. Or the regular joe and jane shmoe family where a couple bought a house, a car, and had a perfect family enclosed within a white picket fence. My mother joked that today, an immigrant couldn't even buy space in a kitchen, much less a house. So what is the fate of our generation - those who won't be settling down and having kids for another 5-10 years? Again, my mother interjects: "Honey, the American Dream has changed." Now the American Dream is about finding that good job (should be read high paying job) that allows you to live comfortably.. the job comes first. And with many more people getting college degrees, you might as well use your diploma to wipe your ass when you run out of toilet paper. More than that, when it comes to family, as my mom describes the situation, women have much more bargaining power. Also recieving higher education at a higher rate, women are now at a level where they can look at a man and say "what is your earning potential AND your IQ?" If its not up to par and we can't work together to own a home, keep on moving. Moreover, the power gained by women has put more pressure on men to find a way to be the best providers they can be.

As I continued the conversation I almost became dizzy. What a different world we're living in. Just as we learned about the culture our parents grew up in while in grade school, our kids will learn of what our generation struggled through and the accomplishments we extolled as our ideals.. and it looks like, on the surface at least, its going to be a lot different from what we learned about American ideals of generations before. I mean the basics are still there, work hard now for the big pay off later... but the pay off we all want seems to be much bigger than many before us could have imagined. Not only that, but the work needed to get to the pay off has increased as well.

It really makes you wonder though. Adolescent psychologists commonly speak of the extention of adolescence to one's early 20's these days since so many more people are going to college and depend on their parents for a longer amount of time. Subsequently, people are marrying later and later.. This does not seem to match up well with our biologies. Our biological clocks say "Have babies earlier women or take the chance of having a fucked up kid come from crusty fucked up eggs.." Then again, you can always freeze your eggs when you're young so you can have them when you're ready to have kids later!

Well I guess that's what science is for.. to keep human biology in step with changes in culture and society... Interesting.. But I digress..

The changing american dream.. my mother's advice? Work damn hard so you can be in a social circle of people who have the same qualifications as you do and make sure you marry the best of the best. If you think you're not with the best of the best, drop them immediatly as they are only keeping you from your goal. And even if you do find the best you can do, be prepared to be living in a one room hell hole for a while until some bank approves you for a loan you'll be paying until you die.

Happy living! :)

Googlin

"Googling anyone is sad, and shallow, and betrays a lack of faith in oneself and the divine sweetness of the universe. But let's get real. It can be fun."

That's from a random article I read. But it's so funny how google has become its own verb, "Hey I googled this guy and OMG I found out that he beats women!"

Haha.. we've all done it I guess. The only thing is you make sure you don't mention it to the person. I've told someone that I didn't believe their bullshit b/c I googled them and found out otherwise. He subsequently asked me if I had been "burned in a past relationship" and maybe that was why I was crazy.. whatever... I guess in retrospect I should have just stopped talking to him and should not have brought it to his attention that I "googled" him. I have one friend who had a girl ask for his last name so she "could google him." The consequence? He was completely turned off.

I, myself have given up googling people for any specific information. I google myself every once in a while to see what dirt other people can find on me. But that's about it these days... but I don't necessarily think its "sketch" to do so. Is "facebooking someone" sketch? In general is looking someone up really that sketch at all? If we didn't have the internet we would have probably asked someone who knew someone who knew the person for specific information. The internet just expidites the whole process.

Recently a guy "myspaced" me. Admittedly I thought this was sketch. I mean A.) I met him months ago. B.) Myspace is a more random website.. not really connected to a school or group. Just a website of random people. Am I on it? Apparently I am. A friend convinced me a long time ago to sign up. So was it sketch when someone used the website to find out info I had willingly posted about myself?

Ok.. maybe.. I just think looking people up on the internet is an extension of innocent curiosity. Moreover, people aren't so inclined to show you all the cards of their character in the beginning stages of getting to know them. If you look up info about them, you can get a more candid picture of them.

In general though I think its better to google people only when its VERY important or not important at all (i.e. when they become your ex). Like if you're going to marry someone, maybe you should know that they were involved in a huge company scandal back in the late 90's. If someone is your ex, maybe you'll dig up some dirt about them that will make you that much more glad that its over. Otherwise googling someone can be detrimental to a budding relationship, a friendship or romantic partnership.. it doesn't really matter b/c when you don't know someone anything they do might rub you the wrong way. Like maybe they were held at gun point and forced to be involved in that huge company scandal and there wasn't anything they really could have done about it, but they would never be amoral in any other conext.. well maybe thats a stretch but you get the point...

Isn't it more exciting to see what unfolds in a relationship than to know someone's life story up front? Guess it depends on what type of person you are.. crazed nut or normal human being ;)

MCATs

Ok I'm still sucking at this MCAT stuff.. and Jon, I knew I said I was going to go on hiatus.. but how depressing is it to have your existence consist of staying in your house all day working, then studying at night for the MCATs? Let me tell you its VERY depressing. So I guess my posting is a break from the boredom.

Anyway. My MCAT teacher is SOOO hot! And I want to have 10,000 of his babies! What's better than fantasizing about someone you can't have and will therefore never disappoint you? Ok I'm sure there are MANY things better than this, but again, my existence right now.. kinda pathetic..

Thanks for the comments guys! Again.. a refreshing break..

Free Will

I used to not care that I offended people. But then I realized I gained less friends this way. Consequently I'm a nicer person these days.

I always wondered about religion. It always seemed to be a characteristic of specific cultures and not an absolute Truth of any sort. Some people did some shit, saw some shit, made up a story, mixed in a little history, and you've got your religion right there, God, shmod.

What is always more interesting to me than religion and culture itself, is why they even exist. Why are humans equipped with such an ability. Why don't dogs have religion? For that matter, what makes us better than other animals? Well that's easy, our more evolved brains right?

Now guess how excited I was to find out that there is actually a WHOLE FIELD called evolutionary psychology that breaks down what it really means to be human in a scientific way - none of the mushy stuff. I mean the mushy stuff is great too. Being able to realize when something in life is truly beautiful is a moving experience that I wouldn't want to lose. But I can't help but wonder what we are when we're just thought of as atoms, molecules, and their interactions.

http://www.staff.ncl.ac.uk/nikolas.lloyd/evolve/freewill.html

Jaded not to be confused with Faded

Jaded: adj. 1. fatigued by overwork: Exhausted; 2. dulled by experience or by surfeit

I talked to a good friend today and she told me how she felt unsettled about the fact that she was jaded about men already at the age of 23. I thought to myself jaded..jaded.. well I'm not jaded. I dont think ALL men suck. I dont hate men. But then I looked up the definition and then I thought, OH WAIT! I AM jaded!

See, I always thought the term jaded connoted something negative. I mean it can, since a surfeit can be "disgust caused by excess." But at the same time you can just be tired of something to the point of indifference or apathy. Feelings of negativety can be a result of being jaded but they are not necessarily one in the same.

So I guess in the end I too am jaded.. at 21... not much negativity I guess.. mostly apathy. As a matter of fact, I don't even see guys as potential anything's anymore. When a guy tries to hit on me I almost don't even realize that's what he's doing, and I just chat as if he were a friend. My mind starts to drift. After the conversation I realize I don't even know half the stuff he said. I just smile and nod, and I even notice that I become impatient, moving from side to side as if I had something pressing to do.. sometimes I do.. most of the time I don't.

And another thing about being jaded - I realize its not always a deliberate volition to be jaded. It's not my fault I get hit on a lot - such is the life of a young woman - but maybe it is my fault that I even pay any guy the time of day. History should tell me that I should never give a guy that i've met at a bar/club/party my number, yet curiosity usually causes me to do the opposite. Hmm.. well I'm a lot less curious these days. And maybe being jaded is a good thing. I'm so tired of all of it, I truly can't even muster enough energy to care.

The problem with being jaded? The guys who like a challenge think you're just playing hard to get, when in reality, you just really don't care... the world is a funny place.

Players

I had this long post about this guy that is a real piece of work. Unfortunately, before I was able to post it, my browser went bazerk and I lost the whole thing. Too bad.. But as the story unfolds...

Top 10 signs that a guy is a player

#1: He leaves you a message saying, and I quote, "I can't remember if I called you earlier today and left a message or not. But if I didn't here it is - hey how's it going, what's happening?"

LOL. Only humor can save me now.

FYI - He did not call earlier. Although it would have been MUCH more amusing if he had.

A Crazy Little Thing Called Love/Life

I've given up on trying to understand certain things about men. For instance, why they think [insert name of huge chested girl here] is so great when she has nothing else going for her but big boobs.

But when it comes down to it, guys are quite predictable. For that matter since woman are also under the influence of culture and biology women can be predictable too. But my post isnt about women :) . I'm not trying to bash men either. I don't hate men, how could I, I have a friend who's a man! Well more than one.. anyway. My whole quest to understand, simplify, and apply my knowledge about men I guess comes from a good place. If you don't understand something its easy to become frustrated, bitter and/or unreceptive. I'm attempting not to take that pitfall.

Last weekend gave me another piece of knowledge about the male psyche. After having extended conversations with a few recent stanford grads, I found one running theme. The guys that I talked to had been hopeless romantics since they stepped foot on campus. They were going to find her and she was going to be the love of their lives, and they would live happily ever after in their million dollar mansions. Regardless of the path they took during their stanford careers (always in a relationship, always single, etc) many of them arrived at the same place. After graduation they got great jobs at great companies with great salaries, and all of a sudden, she disappeared, whether she was always an image, or somehow happened to materialize during their college careers. Now, they have free time and money with no real obligation as to where or how to spend either. More than that, society is no longer telling men that they need to settle down immediatly. All of a sudden the quest to have a "good time" becomes of utmost importance. Almost overnight, the main goal is to "play the field," "see what's out there." No need to settle down when you're a graduate of a prestigious institution making good money in a culture where many women would do anything for a guy who had such qualifications. Oh and if he knows he has options? He's practically a wild man on the loose at that point.

Now any woman who gets involved with any of these guys at this point in their lives is sure to get hurt. B/c a majority of the time when a guy like this enters a relationship, while he might be excited at first, he'll eventually start to think his way out of the relationship.. no matter how great the girl is (I've been told this many times - oh and not by people I was ever romantically involved with.)

Now if I were able to build a time machine and talk to these guys when they start entering their mid to late 20's I am absolutely sure that they will have a complete 180 degree turn in outlook. Eventually they start to find that the women they meet aren't very interesting, intelligent, well-rounded, etc. Spending money on copious amounts of drugs and alcohol every weekend doesn't seem to make sense anymore. Whatever it is, their outlook on life will just change. Just like that! With little to no warning. Beyond societal pressure to settle the hell down, its also biological - woman have a biological clock and so do men.. no one said they were synchronized.

So what does it all boil down to again? Timing. And I'll retract a statement I made in an earlier post that intimated that once a guy is ready to get married "any girl will do." I think a lot of people have this misconception because it happens so quickly. He dumped one girlfriend and he's marrying another six months later for instance. I think its more that when a guy is ready to marry, he's ready to see the qualities in a woman that make her wife material and is quick to dismiss any woman he meets who doesn't measure up. Thus, they start to only date potential "ones" until it finally works out.

So yeah. In the end, I don't know what the actual purpose of this post was, since I'm not saying anything profound. But I guess its one of those infamous south park moments where, "I learned something today." Most young guys are out to have fun.. its the first time they have physical and financial freedom in their lives. And the good ones don't have premeditated game plans of how they're going to use you and dump you. It's just the way of the world for many people. The best thing to do? Think positive and only date the good ones.

:-) G'night