Crazy Nights..Lessons Learned

What a night.. I went out to Blue Chalk, a bar in Palo Alto. It was a weekend where all these college students were back home for a break. (I'm being really vague due to transgressions that will get me in trouble one day.) ANYWAY. So yeah. I went out with my big sis. At around 7pm I didn't feel like going anymore but I said damnit! I'm not going to be lame! I've been acting like an old maid after finally turning 21 and it doesn't make any goddamn sense!

So we went to the bar and the line was ridiculously long! Lori's reaction was like, OMG the line is so long lets find somewhere else. My reaction was, sweet! The line is long, it'll be good inside. My natural instinct is to just cut in front of lines.. I mean attractive girls shouldn't have to wait for service right? That's just for guys and "the uglies." Anywho I refrained from cutting in line b/c it wasn't the usual Stanford crowd that kind of mellows out and pretends not to notice anyone cutting as not to cause any confrontation (wimps!).

So we wait on line for a good 20 minutes I'd say (ridiculous!) We get up to the bouncer checking IDs and he's like hello ladies, my you both are stunning. I say "thank you" and laugh at the random comment. He doesn't hear the thank you and says "now when someone compliments you, you should say thank you." I say I did, and he apologizes and then lets us in. Dude, to skip the 20 minute wait I could have just shook my boobies and been done with it! (Lesson learned) Anyway so we get in and I ask Lori whats a good drink to order. I'm still a bar newbie for the most part. I had a really good mojito on new years a few years back at a restaurant in NY with my mom so I always just order that. They are never as good as the one I had but I don't want to order a cosmo and be so cliche! Lori says she usually orders vodka tonic's. And I'm like ew that doesn't sound good, oh well I got no other suggestions so I get a VT (I'm officially a Californian.. I don't like to speak in whole words.. thanks) To my surprise its actually not bad! So we get another and sit and drink and talk and lo and behold a really drunk guy comes over and asks if I want to dance. I tell him the song is bad and didn't want to dance. So then he's like "ok if the nexsong isgoood we, we, we should dance..." as he wobbles and I'm like yeah whatever. He comes back next song and I'm like yeah this song blows as well. And hes like ok.. Then I wait for him to turn his back and then Lori and I make a run for the dance floor downstairs.

We start jukin and jivin, lookin around b/c looking at each other would just be weird. Lori gets approached by a short guy who is objectively not really attractive, not but ugly, just eh. She politely declines and the night continues. I'm then approached by some Mexican dude.. sorry too short. Then some dude that asks my name. Lori and I agreed earlier that my name would be Jennifer. So my name is Jennifer.
Him: Where do you go to school?
Me: Stanford.
H: What do you study?
M: Human Biology.

(Dance a little to another song.)

H: My name is Blah blah. I go to UCLA. You're probably older than me. How old are you?
M: 21. How old are you?
H: 24.
M: 24! and you still go to college?
H: Yeah I'm old. I'm clearly out of my league.

(To which I agree.)

M:Yes, you are.

And walk away. I don't really remember what else happened until Lori was approached by some guy she went to high school with. She danced with him, I danced by myself for a little while until the funny shit hit the fan. This hot guy comes up to me (drunk) and is like oh hey, we should dance. At this point I'm tipsy and bored so what the heck. Then he's like oh I don't want you to be jealous b/c I have a bigger ass than you. I'm like what? You're a white guy, no way you have a bigger ass than me... unless you're name is Gabe Rosen ;) Anyway he pulls up his shirt to shake his ass and i notice his GORGEOUS six pack and overall awesome body. I mean.. rock hard! Turns out he played baseball for CAL and is now playing for some lesser known college. So anyway after the antics the bar closes down and he's like come on, "lets go twork that thing at Rudy's." I'm like first off "twork that thang?" wow.. secondly, everything in PA is shut down.

He insists its open. On the way to Rudy's we run into two girls. One of which falls all over him and says, I tried to call you inside but you didn't pick up. He says some stuff and then looks at me and is like lets go. So as we're walking he's like, "get your cute ass out off here. Get your sexy ass out of here." And I'm like LOL what? Apparently he thinks these are ways to compliment a girl. So his phone rings a couple of times, he's like I'm not even going to pick it up, you hold it.. Ok, now I'm holding this dude's cell. We run into a shit load of guys he knows one way or the other. After a while I'm like wait, do you actually know him, and the other people are like yeah I know him from such and such. And I'm like ok.. Then he runs into his black friend and starts talking about how he has huger penises than them and yadda yadda. I end up talking to them for a little while. Then the baseball player comes back and I'm back to becoming his trophy girl for the night. He tells his friends.. Look how hot she is, look at her cute face, look at her hot body. And its just amusing. I mean mostly b/c we're both drunk, otherwise it might have been offensive. Yada Yada, he goes to use the bathroom at an open restaurant and I'm outside just thinking.. wow, this would have been so much fun in college. I mean this is mostly what I did. Went to a party on the weekend had some guy on my ass for the night and kind of rolled with the flow till it was early in the morning and I didn't want to put out. Good times, good times.

Not that I wasn't having fun.. But it all wasn't the same. It was like a caricature of my entire social life at Stanford. Hot guy.. usually athlete.. drunkeness.. running around being ridiculous.. talking to people I'll never meet again.. drunken revelry I guess..

And what did I think of.. Mo.. Yes people the "guy I'm dating" finally gets a name. Mostly for purposes of practicality. Anyway, I'm like, I wonder what Mo's up to. I wonder if he's out partying with old high school friends. I wonder if he's making out with some girl from high school. She's probably not cute. etc.. I called up Lori, who had already left with her friend from high school.. ehem. And ask her to Please come pick me up. She doesn't pick up so I wait for her to get my message. In the meantime I answer the guy's phone finally. And its one of his drunk friends looking for him who then starts asking "are you hot? are you an attractive girl? if you have my friend's phone you must be. where are you? have you ordered anything to eat? how about you use your looks to get free pizza. pretty women have all the bargaining power. I'm a business major and I know that pretty women have all the bargaining power..." Yeah.. He finally finds me, Lori is outside ready to pick me up. I try to get away but the drunk friend keeps asking questions. I say peace to the hot baseball player, run into the car. But of course we have to wait for her friend to go talk to some friends. In the meantime there is some dude outside of Lori's car trying to hit on us..

Crazy night!

I did learn though, that my social perspective has definitely shifted. Like its not that I hate partying now or anything.. running around drunk with some guy I don't know has lost its appeal though. Maybe it's just that I'm dating Mo (btdub he still hasn't confirmed that he doesn't in fact hate me...) or maybe b/c its not safe to run around drunk willy nilly when you're not on a college campus. Ha. Who knows.. next weekend might be different.. But last night I knew I wanted something else.. Besides, have YOU ever tried hanging out with a hot guy/athlete? Geezus! He knows everyone and their mother and feels compelled to be a social butterfly.. and if you have little to no self-esteem, you'll be one hurt girl at the end of the night.. crazy

Overwhelming Urges

So for those of you who start hating your family by Thanksgiving afternoon, I thought I'd give you a little light reading as an escape from the madness of a certain family member openly questioning your sexuality b/c for yet another year in a row there is no one "special in your life." Or your obnoxious aunt talking up her retarded kids. OR having to deal with the annoying question of "what are you going to do with your life" 100 times. I'm not saying this happens to me in particular. My family doesn't "celebrate" thanksgiving.. as in, my mother has no compelling urge to cook any other day of the year so why on Thanksgiving? We telecommute on thanksgiving.. it works.. for us.

So anyway about overwhelming urges. I woke up this morning with the overwhelming urge to call the guy i'm dating and tell him that I'm bored and maybe we shouldn't date anymore. I knew he wasn't working until 1pm so if I called him at around 9am when I woke up, he'd be around.. I told Dot I wouldn't do anything drastic while she was away for thanksgiving so I suppressed the urge and talked to a friend about it. "Why do you have the urge to break it off? Is the relationship moving to slow?" Good question.. What happened? I mean this is the person that almost made me barf b/c I liked him.. And now I'm bored. So I took my friend's advice and thought about why I felt this way. Was it the fact that he was an hour and a half late the day before? P.S. I think this makes up for being 4 hours late before. Or maybe everything is going too slow.. Is it? I mean what's the next step? Committment? Sex.. Eh not in the mood for that. And then I figured it out. Dude, this guy's not trying to impress me. He thinks its cool that we just hang out and get to know each other. YACK! I mean wtf? I mean in that case, why aren't we just friends who hang out a lot and then come to that weird moment when we both know we like each other and move from there. But oh, no. Friend's don't have sex so he wouldn't go for that one.

It's funny b/c yesterday he made an off the cuff remark, "Hm, nothing impresses you." Maybe thats true. I mean I did go to Stanford, constantly running into amazing people doing things I could not fathom doing in 10 lifetimes. Soooo, maybe my threshold for being impressed is a little high.. ok very high. But I feel that should give a person incentive to try harder. You're not dating Jane Shmo girl who went to community college and her idea of doing something exciting is riding in a limo one day. I mean I don't need anyone to live beyond their monetary and time means to impress me. Just try.. its the thought that counts.

So yet again, back at square one.. Just like on our first date.. not impressed, not interested, and apathetic.. awesome. :-/

Playing Hard to Get vs. Getting Played

I have pajama shorts from Urban Outfitters that has a graphic of a boy toddler with a net in his hand running after a girl toddler and underneath is a caption that says "Love is Playing Hard to Get." I picked it out b/c the graphic was cute and I needed some cuter sleepwear.

I wondered to myself after buying it, "Is that really true?"

I guess part of the reason girls play hard to get is so that they don't get played themselves. No one wants to be someone else's doormat. If you make them chase you, chances are you won't have "Welcome" stamped on your forehead. But how far, how much, and for how long must one run before its ok to slow down and be caught? Moreover, how far, how much, and for how long can you go before the other pesron just says, "Fuck it!"

A lot of people might say, a good person is willing to run to the ends of the earth for you if they really want you. I say.. well.. it depends. I mean would you even run down the block after someone you thought was hot, but didnt know? Probably not. So clearly the game of playing hard to get takes some balance of giving some and holding some back. Playing hard to get also depends on how attractive you are. If you're ugly, you better damn well have the confidence of Condaleeza Rice to have anyone put up with chasing you. Now I don't want to say that if you're beautiful you don't have to give anything. Being beautiful just means you'll have more people chasing. If your personality sucks, you'll have more people dropping out of the race like flies. So just being attractive puts you at a good place in the game.

So how do you know how much to give? when to give it? etc etc.. That I don't know. I'd classify myself as a "bad dater." I mean I'm not a bad date. I like to have fun, I have a lot of personality. But I am extremely guarded. Fort Knox has nothing on me. This is problematic. Being so guarded has the same effect as telling a guy to fuck off apparently. So I don't recommend this approach. Some people are naturally good at playing hard to get. These people usually have high confidence, self-esteem, and never feel like they need to be with someone else. Feeling lonely is almost assurance that you will have no clue how to play hard to get. So individuals have to figure out their own rules from their own experiences and from advice thats pretty universal. Like NEVER sleep with the guy on the first, second, or third date. I'd say for at least a month. I mean some relationships blossom despite hot, heaviness in the very beginning, but this is rarely the case. And sometimes instead of playing games its best to role with the punches at the beginning. Don't be a doormate but dont be a mega-bitch either (hm.. I'll need to learn that one).

All this said, I'd like to believe that there is someone out there that will put up with your bullshit, no matter how deep and muddy it gets. Then again, some people ascribe to the view that, there are a lot of fish in the sea. If one person doesn't act right, throw the bitch back and pull in another one. I used to believe this, until I also thought, well if I throw the Mahi Mahi back in, who's to say I won't get Tuna next time? I hate! Tuna.

From Barely Legal to Barfing in a Hotel

I'm FINALLY 21 years OLD. I feel like I've waited so long for this. I mean I waited no longer than anyone else, but then again I started college at 16. So people have been legally boozing around me for a loong time. So what did I do on my birthday:

November 12th:
Went to Perry's on Union. It's a bar/restaraunt in the Marina district in SF. I've never seen so many rich young people partying together. I had to beat out this Asian lady for a parking space. I seriously thought she was going to come back and key my car. She probably thought about it, and saw that it was only a Mazda and didnt waste her time. I went with my friends from high school so it was extra Awesome. Sadly I couldn't wait until midnight to order a drink. Instead, after much debate about whether or not I would be carded I just ordered a Heiniken. Then at midnight the current guy I'm dating bought me a Cosmo, which I promptly spilled on the table as everyone gave a great big cheers to this milestone. There was still enough for me to imbibe though :)

November 13th:
This is going to be short because I don't remember the whole night. But there was dinner fun/madness at AsiaSF, a restaraunt/club/bar staffed by transgendered women/men. Then it was back to the hotel to pre-party, then off to Da club. People kept getting me drinks left and right. I violated a few of my guy friends, hugged a lot of my girl friends ridiculously tightly, while squweeling.. and thats pretty much all I remember folks.

I woke up the next morning and smelled vomit. I wondered to myself "did I vomit?" I looked over to my friend Karen and woke her up to ask her if I vomitted in the club or at the hotel. She sniffed and said, "Smells like you definetly did it here." I pulled up strands of my hair that had a few specks of vomit and thought, "yup. definetly vomited here." But at least I had my clothes on!

After taking a long shower and washing my hair I was back off to good Ol Palo Alto. I drove my remaining friends to the airport, thanked them for helping me celebrate a hell of a birthday and fell asleep.

Good times, Good times.

I'm FINA-FRIGGIN-LY 21

When Liking Someone Makes you Physically ill

Besides the election results making me physically ill, I found myself getting nauseated while on a date the other day. I'll be the first one to admit that i've never been in a relationship and I don't quite understand them. Like when you like someone so much you want to spend all your time with them.. I'd rather watch television. Then again I'm a television addict. Or why people spend so much time in a relationship they know is going nowhere. Why not just enjoy being single?

In anycase as I sat watching television (like i said, i'm addicted) with my date when the conversation travels into awkward zone. He tells me about his past relationships and how they've always been long term and then asks me how many relationships I've been in. Huh? Now I've been asked how many people I've hooked up with. Relationships? That would be nil. And as he continues the conversation I feel myself becoming physically ill. My stomach starts to hurt. Then he asks an inane question and then kisses me. Oh I'm going to puke. I don't though. I get my act together and don't puke in the dude's mouth. Good for me.

I talked to my roommate about my episode. Is this a hurdle I'm not going to be able to get over? You know, getting sick at the prospect of being in a "relationship"? She assures me that it happens to her too. And it probably happens to a lot of people. Phew! B/c I need to get married someday and if I can't make it past a few dates with a person, mail order groom would be my only option. So I've resolved to take things slow and take my own advice. I'll let the dude muse about anything serious and just ignore it until I'm ready to hear it. And who knows, I might pull my usual gimmick of sabotaging anything good in my life. Or maybe he'll realize why I've never been in a relationship and run the other way. Whatevs..