Heard on NPR

Next Caller is Bob from San Antonio, Texas. Bob, you're on.

Bob: "Hi. I understand what you're trying to say about the teachings of Muhammed. But the fact of the matter is that people practicing Muhammedism don't practice a very inclusive religion. Theory is nice, but practice is more important."

Too classic! YEEHAW!

Stop me if I'm being crazy.. no really

Bitch for no reason

Most of the time I sit in the back of class. Not only does it reduce the amount of interaction I have to have with people, but if a lecture is truly atrocious, I can up and leave without feeling too bad. I thought sitting in the back also had the added benefit of not drawing too much attention to myself (I realize that this is not the case after a 2nd year approached me and said, "So Bang, word on the street is that your low-rise jeans have been making it a little difficult to concentrate." I explained to him that A. I sit in the back of most classes, so who in the hell is looking at my ass from there? and B. Sadly they're not low-rise jeans. A lot of my jeans are too big for me after random weight loss.) But I digress. So in a particular class I like sitting in the back two seats b/c people usually don't come back there AND there is usually a cart in front of the 2nd seat, which obscures most people's view. That hasn't stopped people from sitting back there next to me in the past. So this time around, since the cart, my defense mechanism, was missing, I put my bag in the second seat AND put a book on the desk to make it appear that someone else was sitting there. Ok, some may think wow, "you're an antisocial bitch." And I'd respond, "yeah i know. I dont know why though." This fake student thing worked for a couple of days until the class was packed b/c there was a review session. One student walked in and looked at the seat for a second as if to signal me to move my stuff. But I didn't. So instead she had to sit in a free wheeling seat and write on her lap. I didn't care at first. But halfway through the class I felt bad. Why was I being so obnoxious? Why didn't I just move my stuff? Its not like she was going to give me ebola. But by that time it was too late to move my stuff and ask if the girl wanted to sit, b/c then I'd be acknowledging my immaturity. So at the end of class I slyly grabbed my stuff and booked it. Not that she didn't notice that it was my stuff that kept her from sitting comfortably all along. But I really wanted to avoid any awkward staring contests.

Stop spending money on me

So in another blog post I'll go more into this, but for now suffice it to say that my bf doesn't have much in the way of funds these days. He quit his job to build a house. He then planned to sell it and make a profit that would allow him to pay himself a salary more than he was making at his last job, with the added bonus of being able to work for himself. Great plan I guess.. until he realized he needed to put in a lot more ground work to get this house building thing started. Moreover, in the middle of this he has decided that he might want to go to grad school, but since he's not sure which one, he's going to take 3 tests and apply to 3 different types of programs. Um ok, whatever, his choice. The point is, he's not going to see a profit on his venture for a while and in the meantime has to live off his savings. This is fine, except, since I know he's not making big bucks, I've tried to chip in for stuff here and there. If we go out to eat, I try to pay. If we go out to get a drink, I try to pay. Pretty much, any activity that costs money, I've tried to pay my half so that he wouldn't shoulder more burden than he needs. But the thing is, he won't let me pay! Ok, I know, I know, some might wonder, "and you're complaining?" Yes, I know that in the past I've argued as to why men should pay for a lot of stuff. But at the same time I just feel bad. Like I almost feel like a freeloader. And most importantly, I don't want him to resent me for paying for all this stuff when he's not the most financially stable. I mean if he had a regular job and was making good money, I wouldn't mind. But this is just making me feel (kinda) bad. The only way I've come up with to not feel so bad is to get him a really good gift. Problem is I don't know what he wants besides a new car (that he doesn't need) and some kind of graduate degree. I can give neither of these things to him. But lord knows I suck at gift giving. (Track record: Valentine's Day - I gave him a microwaved breakfast, he gave me an ipod. His birthday - I gave him a t-shirt, which I almost kept. My birthday - he gave me a stereo - ok the birthday's aren't really fair b/c we were broken up during his).

But yeah, maybe a rock will hit my head tomorrow (actually I really hope not) and I'll wake up from my insanity. Forecast looks cloudy...

Pulling at straws here!

You know, its weird. For a good 3+ years a particular interest of mine was relationships. Mostly romantic relationships - the psychology of it all, but in general interpersonal relationships of different sorts. And for the time that my blog has been up here, that's what I've mostly talked about - meeting people, casual dating and its turmoil and the fun parts.

But now that I'm in a stable relationship, I've got nothin. I mean I could post about the random times I go to bars and the funny stories. Like the time I went to bar review and this one student said, "Meeting a girl that's in medical school is like finding out about an IPO. You don't want to make too much noise, because then everyone else will be all over it, but it gets you really excited. You put on the moves, make that investment, and in ten years, BAM! You've hit the jackpot." I thought his comments were funny in and of itself but then I learned what an IPO was and then it was REALLY funny.

But even that stuff I don't have the motivation to publish. And since all I'm doing is studying all the time or doing something else pretty boring, I'm left with.. well, not much. I could keep talking about my relationship ad naseum but I can't stand girls who do that. I could talk about what I learn in med school, but then you guys would just fall asleep at the keyboard.

So in the end, I haven't figured out what I'll write about anymore. But you've been warned, it may not be as interesting as the stuff from a while back. And if you never liked the stuff from a while back, glad to know I'll be disappointing you in the future as well :)

If he doesn't buy you jewelry, he'll never marry you

I was recently reminded about something I read in a "questionable" source. A while back I was doing what I usually do when I'm so completely bored my mind actually goes blank - I went to Borders and flipped through random books. On this particular day I had stumbled upon "The Rules" by that Feinstein lady. I had heard so much about it I thought I should at least skim through it. One of the "Rules" that I found particularly interesting was the author's theory that if a man doesn't buy you jewelry on a particularly significant occasion, he will never ask you to marry him. Hm.. I thought.. interesting I will read on. I don't remember the exact details. I just remember the author describing an "anecdote" where one of her "close girlfriends" was dating a "nice young man" who bought her a track suit for some occasion. The girlfriend was happy with the gift and thought it was very thoughtful of her boyfriend since she had needed one for a while. The author and others told the girlfriend that the guy would never marry her since he didn't choose to buy her jewelry. The girlfriend thought that was complete nonsense until she got dumped.. or something.

I'm not quite sure where this theory comes from. But I figured it might be a good gauge of where things are in a relationship. The reason I was reminded of this strange "Rule" was because of the gift my bf gave me for my birthday. First he tried to have flowers delivered to my apartment the day of, but the flowers I had once told him were my favorite - purple tulips.. actually I don't know if those are really a favorite, I just like flowers that are colors other than red, pink, or yellow - were out of season so that plan didnt work. He called and apologized about not getting me the flowers. I was surprised he even tried and thanked him for the effort and told him he didn't have to get me anything anyway since I didn't think turning 23 was a big deal anyway.

So when I went to his family's house for thanksgiving I sat as his computer checking email, turned around and saw some sort of stereo looking thing. I asked him what it was and he said "Oh its your birthday present, happy birthday." Wow, that was really nice of him. A while ago I told him how I was looking for a new stereo since the one I had was old and too big and clunky. He advised me to just get one that I could dock my ipod on and I told him about how I looked around but most of the ones I liked were expensive.

Given that we had that conversation in passing, it was a very thoughtful gift. But later I remembered the "Rule" and thought, hmm maybe this is a red flag? But how could it be? I don't really know. But if we break up, looking back at a time in my life where I dated someone I loved and got good gifts to boot doesn't sound so bad to me, rule or no rule. Moreover, who buys someone a track suit anyway?? I mean back in the day when there wasn't much to give a person besides chocolate, jewelry, or apparently track suits, I could see how that rule may work.. but then again, maybe I'm missing the point. All my friends who are married or currently engaged did get some kind of jewelry besides the ring as a gift for some occassion. Then again I know girls who have gotten jewelry AND dumped..later on of course. Go fig.

Are you guys serious???

Oh, no, sorry, I wasn't asking you.

As the holidays or as I call them "Guilt Free No Study Days" approach, people want to know what you'll be doing and where you plan to be. Well seeing that people know that I'm from NY and I'm yet to get my ass on the plane a few friends and acquaintances have asked, "What are you hanging around here for?" Then I respond, "Oh I'm going to Sac-town for Thanksgiving." Then comes the puzzled face, "What's in Sacramento?" My response - "The boyfriend's family" Then the - "Oooh, you guys are that serious?" I usually want to laugh at this point, but instead I wonder how quickly I can sum up the fact that going to his parents' house doesn't make the relationship "serious." Whatever that means anyway. I went to his parents' house last year as his roommate - no we weren't dating then - and so I'm going this year again.. "As what?" I don't know.. maybe the gf.. no I haven't asked him if he's told them. I assume he has seeing that he drops his dog off there all the time to head down here.. but who knows. I'll just pretend I'm the ex-roommate, and hope for the best. "Why pretend?" I'm asked. Weeell.. it all goes back to the first time I met his family and his brother made the comment "Yeah, our dad hates the girls we bring home. We don't say anything. But then he eventually figures out we're dating them and then hates them." My old roommate, drunk, blurted out, "Well your dad looves us!" And I (more soberly) pointed out, "well yeah, probably because we're most definetly roommates, and not girlfriends."

Um yeah. His dad loved me and the old roommate.. as "roommates" and so now I fear looking across the table and having the bf's dad stare at me as he's cutting turkey, size me up, and wonder how he can destroy me. I'm not too intimidated by most people, but his dad is a pretty intimidating figure. The kind that doesn't have to say a word before making you feel somewhat inadequate.

And what does "serious" mean anyway? Like marriage track? That's a negative. At 22, whoops excuse me, TWENTY-THREE, I'm still in La-La land when it comes to thinking seriously. As for the bf.. for all I know he's still on his "get married at 40" track.. again I don't ask. Although having him around makes day dreaming about my wedding day a lot easier. It's not something I spend much time thinking about, but for some reason I've been thinking about it more lately. Maybe I've been around a lot more friends who are married or on their way to becoming hitched. So now, instead of having a myopic view of just myself in my BEAUTIFUL VW dress, I can zoom out and mix and match shirt, tie, and tux colors for the groom. Or should [insert name here] not wear a tie? Thats the extent to my thoughts on marriage. So clearly, its not serious.

I've had this conversation at least 5 times, 2 of which were in large groups, which made the convo even more awkward.. I guess I could have just taken the easy way out - "Oh are you guys serious?" Me - "Yes." The end. The added bonus would be if/when we broke up people would feel especially bad for me, and maybe even bake me cookies... maybe.

A dork amongst dorks

Stacey stumbled in disheveld and confused. Had she just walked into a bar? Why were there so many people here on a Thursday night? Apparently this is the night to study and drink coffee and eat donuts. As she looked around, Stacey did not spot Javier. She assumed he was taking his sweet time as always. She did spot the lone open table and headed towards it. It was a small circular table but maybe it would be big enough for her and Javier. As she got closer she realized that there was a strange kid sitting in the table immediatly adjacent to the empty one. Maybe she didn't want to sit near the strange kid. Also, the table seemed a lot smaller when she was closer to it. Hm.. would she and Javier be able to share this table seeing that they both had jimungous laptops? As she pondered the possibilities two highschoolers swept in and sat at the table. Damn kids! Stacey thought.. I'm getting old. Stacey tried to play it off as if two younger kids hadn't stolen the only table left at the donut shop. She walked over to the counter to purchase a small coffee. As she waited for the cashier to shuffle over to the register she looked around to see if she had missed another table. OH! There was Javier, as apparent as day. She wonderd how she could have missed him he first time - a 6'5 guy who was P-rican and loud. He was talking to an older med student and looked settled in. He had gotten there much earlier than she did. I guess I'm the one who took my sweet time she thought.

Stacey filled her small coffee cup with her favorite, Hazelnut Blend. Javier had spotted her and joined her at the register. "Oh my goood can you believe all these high school kids?' Javier whispered (or tried to whisper.. Javier was never good at being quiet). "I know!" Stacey whispered, or exclaimed, she wasn't good at being quiet either. Maybe this is why she and Javier were friends. "They should really be home studying with their parents" Javier continued. "Yeah man what the hell is this? They look so hardcore. Well I guess thats how they get into Stanford. Although I got in and I wasn't this hardcore." Javier gave Stacey a "yeah right" look. Stacey tried to remember if she was ever that hardcore. She did study somewhat in high school but never in groups, and never on any surface other than her bed. Clearly she was not hardcore. Javier interrupted her thought process, "I'm going to go ask that girl if she can move over so we can sit together." "Ok!" Stacey replied as she finished adding a quarter cup of half-&-half to her coffee and 4 packets of Equal. "This can't be healthy" she whispered to herself.

Stacey walked over to the table. The girl had agreed to move. Javier introduced Stacey to the med student he was talking to earlier. "This is John," Javier announced, "he's a third year MSTP student. And this is his girlfriend [blank], she is a pre-med student at San Jose State." Stacey cringed when she heard "pre-med" student. Maybe that's why she didn't catch the girl's name. She wanted to yell "Don't do it! Save your life and time, go into something else!" But after further inspection of John's girlfriend, Stacey decided that the girlfriend looked enough like a pre-med student that she might actually enjoy the sacrifice. Instead, Stacey smiled and blurted out "fuuuun!" and sat down. Stacey was impressed that John and his girlfriend, two Native Americans interested in medicine, had found each other and fallen in love. Cute, heart warming, maybe they should cast Brad Pitt in their future made for TV movie. He was in last of the Moheekans right?

Stacey emptied the contents of her bag. Tonight she was studying dev bio, "fuuuun" she thought. She reached for her computer bag. "Uuh, did you bring the mouse I bought you?" Javier asked with a concerned facial expression. "No," Stacey replied. "Well then you're not allowed to use your loud ass computer. I got you the mouse for a reason." Stacey smiled as she recalled Javier and Dan making fun of her computer's keyboard mouse.

Dan: "Wait, who am I? Who am I? CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!"
Javier: "Oh hi Stacey!"
Dan: "Yeah!"

"Fine. I didn't need my laptop anyway. I just brought it in case."

As Stacey began to read, she realized something, she could actually focus! Usually Stacey stayed away from shops - coffee shops, donut shops, soy latte shops. She needed absolute quiet to study.. usually. But tonight she was able to filter out all of the noise. She figured she must be on her way to becoming a good doctor - filter out all that is not important - including the patient's bitching and whining.

After 20 minutes of reading Stacey sighed and looked up. In the corner to her left were four high school students arguing over a calculus problem set. Ick. To the right of them were 3 other students working on what seemed to be the same problem set since there was considerable amounts of talk going back and forth. Stacey noticed the asian girl at the table. She stuck out like a sore thumb for two reasons - 1 she was really pretty, too pretty to be studying calculus with this dorks, Stacey thought. And 2 - she was drinking chocolate milk - I thought Asians were as lactose intolerant as Nigerians. Maybe not. Stacey went back to reading.

"UNLIKE IN MALES, IN FEMALES FUNCTIONAL OVA ARE NECESSARY TO MAINTAIN THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE GONADS"

Fascinating, Stacey thought. She looked up again, now one of the math dorks was reading his text book,
listening to an ipod that must have been playing classical music since he was playing the air piano. OMG it doesnt get any dorkier than that! "Was I really that much of a dork in high school???" Well it really didn't matter now Stacey concluded. All the possible witnesses of her dorkiness were on another coast. Furthermore, even if she was a dork, she was amongst hundreds of them now at med school and she definetly wasn't the dorkiest.

She looked up with a smile and in the process caught John's gaze. His head movement stuttered as he looked down at the papers he was grading, then back up at Stacey, then back down. Stacey remembered why she didn't smile so much, especially at men. A female smile, to the wrong target, sends the wrong message. Stacey sighed again and began reading where she had left off...

Did that just happen?

This is the question a friend and I had to ask ourselves last night after he almost got into a fight over something ridiculously petty. My boyfriend swears he'll never go to a doctor educated at my med school "all you guys do is party and fight, you're like a high school football team from texas." After last night, I'm not sure that I'd blame him for his thoughts.

Last night the student medical association decided to throw a New Years party. That's right, a new years party in... November. After my little sis pointed out that the party did offer free champagne, I figured, what the hey, I'll go.

Everything was fine for most of the night. I got to hang w/ my little sis from college and one of the few people I actually like in my class came since he lives so close to where the party was being held. Everyone was passing around cheap Andres champagne (o.k. maybe if I had known it was going to be Andres I wouldnt have gone.. they couldn't even pitch in for Korbels??)

Before long, the party seemed to be getting a little lame. Though the theme was supposed to get people to make out during the "New Years countdown" held every 30 minutes (yea obnoxious) A.) There is no one in my class or in the entire med school for that matter that I want to put my lips on and B.) I have a bf, and thats just sketch. Given this boredom my friend and I and his friend were making fun of all the socially awkward people who were passing an innertube balloon around (oh yes, they only bought 1 zero balloon so instead of 2007 there was just "0") and danced w/ it around their hips. At first we just thought it was lame, but after people kept putting it on and bumping into me I felt the balloon had to die. I asked someone for the balloon and between the three of us, some how the balloon died... oh well.. whatever. Now we can stop acting like children and stop being awkward... or so I thought.

A good 2 hours after the balloon incident one of the party planners walked up to my friend and I and said, "I heard one of you guys destroyed my innertube balloon." My friend and I looked extremely puzzled b/c the event had happened hours ago and... um.. who cares that much about a balloon? I was sober enough to see that the party planner was pissed. My friend on the other hand was wasted and thought it was a complete joke. All of a sudden the party planner started yelling and pointing at my friend "You came to a FREE party, something you didn't pay money for, and DESTROYED property. What gives you the right?" Then the party planner started poking my friend to which my friend told him "You don't know me, don't touch me." To which the party planner responded with, "Do you know who I am? Do you KNOW who I am?" By that point my friend was pissed and told the guy that if he really had qualms over his stupid balloon they could take it outside. Of course women jumped in and tried to calm everyone down. I don't know why I jumped in between the two since if a punch was thrown I would have been done!

After some friends escorted crazy balloon guy out, my friend and I were left puzzled. Firstly my friend was a division I A collegiate wrestler for 5 years. Secondly, we did pay for the party, the dues for the student medical association are payed by, guess who? us med students. Thirdly, a balloon??? A friggin balloon? Yes it was probably immature to even pop the stupid thing, we should have just taken it outside and accidently let go of it, or better yet, we should have just left the party, but honestly, to start a fight over a BALLOON? This guy folks will be operating one people one day... sheesh.

I guess it all goes back to the phenomenon of shows like Grey's Anatomy. A part of the appeal of these shows is that you get to see the more "interesting" parts of a Dr's life. And while many get wrapped into the drama, I'm sure most would at least not want to know about the personal lives of their own doctors. I mean many people can separate profession from personal life, but I'm sorry, I don't want someone operating on me who might bust out in tears if the attending she has a crush on walks into the operating room.

But seriously, whoever called med school middle school, was right.