Interacial Dating Kind of Sucks...
Ok so for most people who know me, you know that I'm an equal opportunity dater. If I find you attractive, no matter the race, I'll give you a chance.. well unless you're a black guy I'll give you half a chance.. this isn't racist as much as knowing my race well enough to know what to expect. I realized the other day though that most of my friends who are currently dating someone are dating interracially.. practically all of them. And I thought wow how progressive.. Then I remembered the time I was in San Francisco with my boyfriend and a drunk bum who happened to be a black guy looked at us and said "What is that some kind of experiment?" Oh and then there are the weird stares we'll get from time to time. There are also the stories he's told me about how this white girl who is dating this black guy were walking in San Francsico when this black woman bum just came up to the girl and punched her in the face! AND the time his other friend was in SF on Castro on Halloween and got beaten up by some black guys that didn't like the fact that his girlfriend was black. What a mess...
And as far as tolerance goes, California is the Mecca.. yet intolerance still runs rampant.. not only intolerance, but active intolerance.
I had a drunken conversation with my boyfriend about how interracial dating is annoying enough but interracial marriages are even harder. In his idealistic, I'm the youngest child and like to dream attitude, he believes that if you're in love with someone it shouldn't matter the race b/c love conquers all yada yada. Yeah whatever. The problem with interracial marriage that you dont so much have in interracial dating is that you're probably going to have a child.. or many.. whatever floats your boat. Are you ready to bring a child into the world that is going to have identity issues out the ass? Not to mention dealing with ish other ignorant people put them through.. It's just a hard decision and so most people choose just to stick with their own race when its time to stop dickin around and get married.
The other problem is that its harder for some couples than others. I was talking to a friend today about how I'm usually oblivious but this weekend I noticed a lot of stares from people in Palo Alto. And I'm like what the hell are you looking at? You didn't stare at that white and asian couple walking down the street hand in hand or the fifty other asian/white couples that came before them! I guess tolerance has to do with contrast. White/Black - Awful! White/Kind of white not really white but white enough - Eh not excited about it, but acceptable. White/Brown - Um what the hell? Wait, do they have a lot of money? Ok fine..
I'm making sweeping generalizations about interracial stuff but I guess that's b/c I'm especially bitter after having my mom tell me that if I had interracial kids she doesnt know if she could deal b/c it would remind her of slavery and how I'm ignoring my whole ancestry.. so that cuts down my marriage options.. maybe I won't even have kids.. who knows..
I wish I didn't have to think of interracial issues. But with the prospect of physical and/or verbal assault, having a well-meaning but racist mother, and having an A in Racial Identity Development seminar which pretty much taught me that interracial people usually have a harder time of figuring out "who they are," I guess I'm having to reconsider the whole thing.. Not to say any of this weighs more heavily than the prospect of having exotically beautiful children.. Le sigh..
And as far as tolerance goes, California is the Mecca.. yet intolerance still runs rampant.. not only intolerance, but active intolerance.
I had a drunken conversation with my boyfriend about how interracial dating is annoying enough but interracial marriages are even harder. In his idealistic, I'm the youngest child and like to dream attitude, he believes that if you're in love with someone it shouldn't matter the race b/c love conquers all yada yada. Yeah whatever. The problem with interracial marriage that you dont so much have in interracial dating is that you're probably going to have a child.. or many.. whatever floats your boat. Are you ready to bring a child into the world that is going to have identity issues out the ass? Not to mention dealing with ish other ignorant people put them through.. It's just a hard decision and so most people choose just to stick with their own race when its time to stop dickin around and get married.
The other problem is that its harder for some couples than others. I was talking to a friend today about how I'm usually oblivious but this weekend I noticed a lot of stares from people in Palo Alto. And I'm like what the hell are you looking at? You didn't stare at that white and asian couple walking down the street hand in hand or the fifty other asian/white couples that came before them! I guess tolerance has to do with contrast. White/Black - Awful! White/Kind of white not really white but white enough - Eh not excited about it, but acceptable. White/Brown - Um what the hell? Wait, do they have a lot of money? Ok fine..
I'm making sweeping generalizations about interracial stuff but I guess that's b/c I'm especially bitter after having my mom tell me that if I had interracial kids she doesnt know if she could deal b/c it would remind her of slavery and how I'm ignoring my whole ancestry.. so that cuts down my marriage options.. maybe I won't even have kids.. who knows..
I wish I didn't have to think of interracial issues. But with the prospect of physical and/or verbal assault, having a well-meaning but racist mother, and having an A in Racial Identity Development seminar which pretty much taught me that interracial people usually have a harder time of figuring out "who they are," I guess I'm having to reconsider the whole thing.. Not to say any of this weighs more heavily than the prospect of having exotically beautiful children.. Le sigh..